| Author | Message | ||
     Ivan |
IVAN'S 'GREAT' WORKS, FICTION ET AL - These are original manuscripts, unedited. I tried Googling my titles but they don't always come up, so bumped them up from the now archived "New PeoplesBook Forums" (2005). Here are the original works, six novels, one short story. Please click on titles to access original manuscripts. - Ivan Alexander, author: humancafe@aol.com Aegytpus and Queen Tiye, a love story of 18th dynasty Egypt The story of an architect, Agepytus, in Pharaoh Amenhotep III's court and his queen Tiye, who falls in love with him. They had known each other as friends since childhood, and later as lovers through their whole lives, though the High Priest Aye used their love and frustrated it for his own selfish reasons, in his schemes to ultimately become Pharaoh. The story takes us into that fabulous world of ancient Egypt c.3400 years ago, when in full glory Amenhotep III's reign of grand temple and empire building was the world then, still evident in Egypt's great wonders today. In the story the secret of the pyramids is unlocked. Scriptorium, they wrote the Book of Kells On the Isle of Iona was an early Christian monastery founded by Saint Columba where was penned the beautifully illuminated Book of Kells, as it is known today. The abbot Father Cellarch commissioned Aeden and fellow monks to illustrate this magnificent book for their sister abbey in Durrow, Ireland. During the time of the first Viking invasions in the 9th century there were also kings who valued Christianity and helped the abbeys survive. One such Viking king was Blachmach, whose beautiful daugher Osla was left at Iona for safekeeping from the raiding sea wolves. Osla and Aedan develop a fine friendship at the abbey, while work is being done on the Four Gospels. During these attacks the Book of John is completed in a setting of stress and love, and accusations of murder, to bring our two star crossed lovers closer together, to save the abbey and found a new kingdom. Dream of the Worlds, Earth coming out of galactic quarantine, Book 1 of a trilogy This is the first book of a trilogy about Earth's contact, soon to be realized, with a sister world of Ka'andana, where their destiny is intertwined with ours. Paul is the first 'scout' to experience life on our world, as he is to follow in the path of the Dream, a technological universal belief system on his world, which brings him in contact with Sanaa, a beautiful Ethiopian woman with whom he falls in love. They must flee from those who would capture them, which directs them into India and a Himalayan monastery, where Sanaa is captured and taken by government agents. Paul is distressed but finds an inner strength of peace while in the presence of Mananam, a blind monk at the monastery, and sets out to save Sanaa, who is taken to Paris. He finds her, but is now in danger of being medically 'examined' because they know he is from another world. The Dream unfolds in mysterious ways as they 'merge' together two worlds. Power of Maya, from a distant world Kandana, Book 2 Sanaa is taken to Ka'andana where she encounters a very advanced culture and technology. There she gives birth to her daughter, Maya, who is precocious in the ways of her new world, and together they become immersed in the subtle subterfuge of obstacles presented by Morz, a disgraced star ship commander. Maya and Sanaa escape to the renegade cave dwelling people of the Sanctuary who eschew modern technology, and the Dream, to right the wrongs of their world, and become entangled in an upcoming androids war. With the help of Seth, another star ship commander, who becomes Maya's adoptive father, they disentangle machinations by Morz, which involves also future Earth, to bring back peace to Ka'andana. A Promise in the Amazon, search and rescue of fallen ship. Book 3 Maya's father, Paul, is lost and captured in the Amazon when his small scout ship goes down, so Maya who is now older, and her mother Sanaa set out to rescue him. With the help of another space traveling race, the Ebh'ans, and Earth adventurers Bates, an American, and Josie an Amazon Indian, and a small boy Carlos, they find Paul in a prison labor gang in Amazonia felling trees, with whom they all escape. But the return is complicated by sensitive equipment, and perhaps alien bodies, hidden at a government installation in norther New Mexico, where they must go to retrieve what they can. With the help of an Apache, Roy, they find what they are looking for under a mesa on the Apache reservation. Maya and Carlos become friends and make a promise in the Amazon before she returns to her world.[I'm working on a fourth story, continuing where Dream of the Worlds, Book 3 left off, but it's slow, characters won't 'talk' to me!  .. at least not yet] Giammai! Black Messiah, at a Nazi labor camp, death and survival This is a short novel about a black man imprisoned in a Nazi labor camp and his little notebook, which he kept hidden under his barracks mattress and in which he recorded assiduously the terrible trials of camp life. It is written in a post-modern style with the voice of Olgha, also a camp prisoner, and Giammai, who calls her Kostia, in their dual voices of pain and fleeting hopes, even love, of their knowing each other and the other prisoners. As they strive to survive hunger and punishments, and ever present death, we glimpse through their eyes this terrible travesty against innocent human beings, especially when they tried to save the children from death. Ipi of the Desert, a Kumeyaay boy's journey into manhood (short story) Ipi is a young Kumeyaay Indian of the southern California desert, whose people summered in the Laguna mountains but wintered in the Anza-Borrego desert until about the time of the Spanish Missions, when their population was drastically reduced by disease. This is Ipi's story of coming into manhood, observing the traditions of his people and especially befriended by the shaman leader of the clan, Tapawaye. Their encounter with the Mission changed Ipi's life. * * * * * * A philosophy work: Habeas Mentem, now out of print, first publised by P.E. Randall publisher, 1986: "Man in All that Is". This is a three part philosophical development of the idea of 'interrelationship' and how this seminal idea of structure of the universe applies to our human identity, with ramifications for our future development as a fully conscious human species who 'have the mind'. The second and third parts of the book deal with spiritual values of a universe that is 'conscious' of itself. Enjoy! Ivan | ||
| IVAN |
VARIABLE G? (Please note on some system the "lamda" as a greek letter will not show up, so will come out as "(l)" instead, to my regret.) A VARIABLE MASS PER VARIALBE G HYPOTHESIS, AS A MODEL FOR THE ANOMALOUS ACCELERATION OF PIONEERS 10 AND 11 -- per the Equivalence Principle and the Axiomatic Equation. By Ivan D. Alexander, California, USA Author's note: [Please see "Anisotropic kg/kg mass" (posted Mar. 2, 2008) for explanation why kg'/g must be adjusted on the right side to balance the Axiomatic Equation, which necessitates a 'variable' kilograms per variable-G, in order to conserve Equivalence. The Axiomatic Equation must read:E' = hc/ (l)(proton m) = [1(kg'/kg) - (g')pi^2] c^2to balance both sides.] Abstract: The Pioneers Anomaly as measured shows a constant rate of acceleration towards the Sun at –a = ~8E-8 cm/s^2. This can be interpreted, in reverse order, as a gravitational phenomenon, whereby Newton’s ‘constant’ G is shown to grow at a steady rate over distance to cause this anomalous acceleration; which shows ‘as if’ G is growing at approximately 1 G per AU. This same result can be achieved in a modified Quantum equation, here called the Axiomatic Equation©, where Newton’s G grows in inverse proportion to solar energy received at a distance from the Sun, at about 1 G per AU. The resulting inertial mass acceleration towards the solar system’s largest mass, the Sun, is likewise shown per the Equivalence Principle to approximate the Pioneers Anomaly. Introduction: The Pioneers Anomaly, measured to be at a constant acceleration of –a = ~8E-8 cm/s^2, as per Anderson et al. [1], can be worked in reverse order to show it can imply, via the Equivalence Principle [12], that the inertial mass of the Pioneer probes is gaining ‘gravitational mass’ in the same proportion as the change in G. This may be achieved by calculation for a hypothetical delta G (over distance) needed to satisfy this condition. The methodology assumed is that, per Equivalence, the mass of the probes in an increasing G would be adjusted proportionally, which (in reverse order) translates as the square of acceleration (over distance), delta –a = (~8E-6 m/s^2)^2, to yield numerically delta –a = ~6.4E-11 m^2/s^4 (meters per kilogram seconds squared) m kg^-1 s^2 - as a function of G, which is within range of the implied delta G for our solar system of 1 G per AU, vs. G = ~6.67E-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2 (Nm^2 kg^-2) at 1 AU. (In fact, -a=8.5E-8 cm/s^2 works closer to the real value of variable G of 7.24E-11 per 1 AU.) Separately calculations were made using the Quantum equation posited by Louis de Broglie, E = hf = mc^2, and modified to incorporate a proton gravitational constant, per the Axiomatic Equation (derived in Appendix) [10]. This equation works out as: E = hc/ (l)(proton m) = [(m) c^2] = ~(1-g) c^2 (where m = 1 kg/kg) in abridged form. When applied to solar energy per planetary orbit, and converted to Newton’s G, it will be shown to yield a result approximating the noted anomalous Pioneers acceleration. The resulting delta G per AU, as shown below, works out to be approximately = 7.239E-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2 per AU. Dividing this delta G by Earth’s known G = 6.67E-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2, we arrive at a ratio of 1.085, which divided by the distance of 1 AU (in meters, 1.5E+11 m), gives the rate of change per meter: delta G = 0.723E-11 per meter. This change further translates into delta G = 7.23E-12 per meter distance, or in centimeters, delta G = 7.23E-14 per centimeter. To convert this delta G into acceleration, one must take its square root, per Equivalence of mass to the gravitational ‘constant’, which taking the square root is: delta G = -a = 8.5E-7.5 cm/s^2. This is vs. -a = 8.5E-8 cm/s^2, what was measured for Pioneers. This delta G driven value, -a = 8.5E-7.5 cm/s^2, is slightly greater than the reported Pioneers Anomaly of –a = 8E-8 cm/s^2, yet within range. (Later measurements yielded Pioneer Anomaly -a = 8.6E-8 to 8.74E-8 cm/s^2, slightly above). Other Energy factors may account for why these two values are not exact, which may be due to onboard energy radiation sources. A natural implication results from this hypothesis also pertains to distant cosmic light redshift, and the implications to the Hubble constant (space expansion postulate), with implications for modern cosmology. 1.0: A Variable G cum Variable Mass Hypothesis, per Equivalence Principle. 1.1: Illustration of Hypothetical Variable Mass in a Variable G. Conceptually, if G were greater, then its mass equivalent per Equivalence would also be greater, which means if each molecule gravitationally draws a greater G, its gravitational-inertial-mass would be greater. This can be understood as requiring fewer molecules to achieve the same mass as in a lower G. As illustration, let us suppose that it takes x number of molecules to compose 1 kilogram of mass on Earth. But, by assuming G and mass equivalence, in taking these same molecules in a greater G’ region, it would take G/G’ times x to arrive at the same 1 kilogram mass. This would mean that in a higher G region, 1 kilogram is still the same kilogram as in Earth’s 1 AU gravitational G, but per greater G there are fewer molecules composing this same mass in situ. Because the molecular mass is now greater, per greater G per molecule, its interactive gravitational mass will be acted upon gravitationally as if its inertial-mass were ‘heavier’, or conversely its gravitational force interaction were greater gravitationally; it would be as if it were the square root of G. This can be translated into the Pioneers Anomaly that, given a hypothetically higher G in the regions of outer solar system and beyond, the spacecraft acts ‘as if’ its mass were growing in square proportion to the local G; or conversely, because it is the same mass as having left from Earth, the gravitational attraction from the Sun acts ‘as if’ the greater mass in greater G is an acceleration that is the square root of its delta G. The mass of the Pioneers crafts never changed, it is still the same number of molecules as it had at the gantry, but now as it travels outward from the Sun, the mass translates into its hypothetically greater gravitational-inertial-mass. Consequently, in a greater G region, its gravitational-inertial-mass is drawn back by the Sun’s gravity as if it were gravitationally ‘heavier’ than when it left. 1.2: Translating this Variable Mass cum Variable G Equivalence into the Pioneers Anomaly. Prince Louis de Broglie took the liberty to match Planck’s E = hf with Einstein’s E = mc^2, also called the de Broglie equation. Planck’s can be further broken out as E = hc/(l) (proton m), which matched with de Broglies’s becomes E = hc/(l)(proton m) = mc^2. A hybridization of this equation can also be expressed, per the Axiomatic Equation (see Appendix below, as how derived) to become: E = hc/(l)(proton m) = (m-g)c^2, where m = 1 kg/kg (always), and g= proton-to-proton gravitational ‘constant’, here known as g = ~5.9E-39 (dimensionless, though this value per the Axiomatic becomes Volts, to balance the SI units; see Appendix). As will be shown, this proton gravitational constant is in fact a variable, per the radiant electromagnetic energy received, as a function of E. 1.3: The Axiomatic Equation Defined as Energy Received from the Sun: The term "Energy" here is understood as a dual component of both radiant electromagnetic energy and planetary orbital kinetic energy, as they relate to our Sun, for the planets of our solar system. This is defined as: E = solar irradiance x 1/2 Rv^2, where E = total energy received from the Sun (Solar irradiation is in ‘Watts per meter squared’) 1/2 Rv^2 is KE = 1/2 mv^2, where m = 1 (kg/kg)** This E is then matched against the Axiomatic Equations (per Appendix) which is: E' = hc/ l)(proton m) = f(E'/E) [1 - f(g')pi^2] c^2 (Please note the f(E’/E) is a function to balance both sides of the equation E) The exercise will be to show, using the Newton G arrived, how E translates into G for the orbital regions of each planet. Calculations are approximate only, to illustrate the principle. Source of data is the NASA Planetary Fact Sheet [9]) 2.0: Calculations showing the Energy to proton mass and Newton’s G relationships: 2.1: Earth as sample, to arrive at E = 90 petajoules: We know per Einstein’s famous equation: E = mc^2 = 9E+16 Joules, or 90 petajoules. This same value can be arrived at as a ‘template’ for Earth’s solar Energy: Solar irradiance: 1367.6 W/m^2 Mean distance from Sun: 149.6E+9 meters Mean orbital velocity: v = 29.78 km/s (1367.6) (149.6E+9) = 204592.96E+9 = 2.046E+14 W/m = solar radiance energy, and KE = (1/2) (1) (29.78)^2 = (1/2)(1)(886.85) = 443.4 m^2.kg.s^-2 (Joules) = gravitationally induced kinetic energy: KE * W/m = ( 443.4 J) (2.046E+14 W/m) = 9.07e16 Joules = Earth's total orbital Energy. (Please note m = 1 kg/kg is a net function of planet mass already in orbital motion.) Therefore, Earth’s solar Energy resulting value is: E = ~9.07E+16 J (Please note Earth’s Energy reads slightly higher by ~0.07E+16 J, in the same way Earth’s Newton G reads ~0.67 G lower than per values derived from the Energy equation; this may be a function of Earth’s interior generated Energy. Though beyond the scope of this paper, were Earth energy ‘neutral’ these values would be affected, see Addendum [b] below) 2.2: Energy calculated for all the planets of our solar system: Now, let us use this same methodology for calculating Energy for all the other planets, using NASA data: MERCURY: 60.55E+16 J VENUS: 17.33E+16 J EARTH: 9.0E+16 J MARS: 3.66E+16 J JUPITER: 0.335E+16 J SATURN: 0.1004E+16J URANUS: 0.0247E+16J NEPTUNE: 0.01E+16 J PLUTO: 0.006E+16 J The resulting Energy E' values if plotted on a chart show a parabolic upward steeply curved for the inner planets, and progressively lower and flatter for the outer planets, with an elbow for this curve about the level of Mars and the asteroid belt. It is immediately obvious that the inner planets receive a much greater level of solar irradiance than the distant planets, per this methodology, that this total Energy for each orbital has a parabolic relationship, where the energy levels for the outer planets declines on a curve [10]. 2.3: Using the Axiomatic Equation to solve for proton mass for each orbital region: We can calculate an intermediary function resulting from this Energy variance through the DeBroglie-Planck-Einstein equation: E = hc/ (l)(proton mass) = 90 petajoules, on Earth. In computing the proton mass for each Energy level, we get a variable that can be used to estimate Newton's G at each Energy E’. Assuming that Planck's constant h = 6.626E-34 m^2.kg.s^-2, and electromagnetic energy lambda, 1.322E-15 m (assuming no redshift within our solar system), with light constant c, 3E+8 m/s, we get: E = hc/ (l)(proton mass) E = 9.0E+16 J = (19.878E-26) / (1.322E-15)(proton mass), so that proton mass is: Proton m = 1.67E-27 kg Using the same methodology, we can compute proton mass equivalents for each of the planets Energy levels, where E' is on the left, and equivalent proton mass is on right: MERCURY: 60.55E+16 J, 2.48E-28 kg VENUS: 17.33E+16 J, 8.67E-28 kg EARTH: 9.0E+16 J, 1.67E-27 kg MARS: 3.66E+16 J, 3.86E-27 kg JUPITER: 0.335E+16 J, 4.49E-26 kg SATURN: 0.1004E+16J, 1.498E-25kg URANUS: 0.0247E+16J, 6.1E-25 kg NEPTUNE: 0.01E+16 J, 1.5E-24 kg PLUTO: 0.006eE+16 J, 2.58E-24 kg 2.4: Calculating for the Proton Gravitational Variable g': The above values for proton mass will now lend themselves to finding the proton gravitational constants equivalents: Again, taking our Axiomatic Equation: E' = hc/ l)(proton m) = f(E'/E) [1 - f(g')pi^2] c^2 We can now compute the f(g) proton-to-proton gravitational coupling constant for each E' of the planets. Using Earth's g = 5.9E-39 as a basis, we can find f(g') by applying F(g') = (proton m)' * g / (proton m), as per above. Using this equation as a direct proportional value for g relative to proton mass, the ratio of the planet's proton mass (proton m)' = g' to Earth's (proton m) = 5.9E-39, we get =f(g'). For example: Mars proton mass = 3.86E-27 kg, which times Earth's g = 5.9E-39 equals 22.78E-66, divided by Earth's proton mass =1.67E-27 equals f(g')= 1.36E-38 (greater than Earth's g). This methodology yields the following proton gravity g' constants: PLANET: total orbital Energy, Proton mass, Proton gravity constant g: MERCURY: 60.55E+16 J, 2.48E-28 kg, 8.76E-40 VENUS: 17.33E+16 J, 8.67E-28 kg, 3.06E-39 EARTH: 9.0E+16 J, 1.67E-27 kg, 5.9E-39 MARS: 3.66E+16 J, 3.86E-27 kg, 1.36E-38 JUPITER: 0.335E+16 J, 4.49E-26 kg, 1.586E-37 SATURN: 0.1004E+16J, 1.498E-25 kg, 5.29E-37 URANUS: 0.0247E+16J, 6.1E-25 kg, 2.153E-36 NEPTUNE: 0.01E+16 J, 1.5E-24 kg, 5.3E-36 PLUTO: 0.006E+16 J, 2.58E-24 kg, 9.11E-36 As can be seen from the above, the proton-to-proton gravitational coupling constant g' increases with distance from the Sun, and decrease towards the Sun, so the inverse relationship of Energy to proton gravitational constant is preserved. This can be further converted into Newton's G values via an equation, as per the conversion equation mentioned above. 2.5: Converting Proton Gravitational g' into Newton's G' constant: Using the conversion equation described in Appendix: G^2 * m = g c^2 pi^2, where g is the proton gravitational constant, and m =1, G^2 * 1 = (5.9E-39)(9E+16)(9.87) = 524.1E-23 = 52.41E-22, of which square root is: G = ~7.239E-11 Nm^2kg^-2 for Earth. (Note this is 0.57E-11 more than Newton's G = 6.67E-11 N, which may be a result of Earth generating it’s own Energy.) 2.6: PLANET: total orbital Energy, Proton mass, Proton gravity g', local Newton's G': MERCURY (0.39 AU): 60.55E+16 J, 2.48E-28 kg, 8.76E-40, ~02.79E-11 N VENUS (0.72 AU): 17.33E+16 J, 8.67E-28 kg, 3.06E-39, ~ 5.20E-11 N EARTH (1 AU): 9.0E+16 J, 1.67E-27 kg, 5.9E-39, ~7.24E-11 N (vs. 6.67E-11 N) MARS (1.52 AU): 3.66E+16 J, 3.86E-27 kg, 1.36E-38, ~10.96E-11 N JUPITER (5.2 AU): 0.335E+16 J, 4.49E-26 kg, 1.586E-37, ~ 38.6E-11 N SATURN (9.5 AU): 0.1004E+16J, 1.498E-25 kg, 5.29E-37, ~68.5E-11 N URANUS (19.2 AU): 0.0247E+16J, 6.1E-25 kg, 2.153E-36, ~138E-11 N NEPTUNE (30 AU): 0.01E+16 J, 1.5E-24 kg, 5.3E-36, ~217E-11 N PLUTO (39.5 AU): 0.006E+16 J, 2.58E-24 kg, 9.11E-36, ~284E-11 N When these Newton's G values are plotted on a chart on the X axis, with planetary distance from the Sun in AUs on the Y axis, it shows a linear growth at the rate of approximately: delta G = ~7.24E-11 per AU. 3.0: A Variable Newton's G 'constant' affecting Pioneers 10 and 11 Acceleration. 3.1: Acceleration of the Pioneers towards the Sun: The acceleration towards the Sun may therefore be calculated from the G variable, using the methodology described above. Taking the delta G divided by Earth's known G, and then divided by one AU in meters yields the expected acceleration pointed towards the Sun: Delta G = 7.239E-11 Nm^2kg^-2 (m^/s^2) Earth G = 6.67E-11 Nm^2kg^-2 One AU in meters = 150E+9 meters (7.239E-11 Nm^2kg^-2) / (6.67E-11) / (150E+9) = Pioneers acceleration anomaly hypothetical ‘mock’ acceleration = 1.085 / 150E+9 = 0.7235E-11 m/s^2, or in centimeters: ~delta-a = ~72.35E-16 cm/s^2 This is the value satisfying the calculations per the Axiomatic Equation and proton mass gravitational constant converted into Newton’s G, which here works out to be a variable, growing at a constant rate of approximately 1 G per AU. To convert this into the effective acceleration effect on any mass traveling on an escape trajectory out of he solar system will require this value be adjusted for the Equivalence Principle. This is achieved by hypothesizing that for each increase in G, there is a commensurate increase in mass, so that the gravitational-inertial-mass of the spaceprobe is increasing per increased G. The effect of this interaction between inertial mass in a greater G is equivalent to the square root of the above "delta-a" result, so we are left with the actual acceleration, whereby: -a = ~8.5E-8 cm/s^2 (vs. ~8E-8 cm/s^2 as measured) This is the value of acceleration towards the Sun the Pioneers should be experiencing, as calculated from the steady linear growth of G at a distance from the Sun, where it grows at 1 G per AU. The fact that this computed variable G acceleration is higher than the measured value leads one to consider the possibility that other energy is coming into play, to moderate the pure gravitational effect. For example, the Pioneer probes carry their own onboard energy source, and this energy may act as a moderating influence on the local G gravitational influence, if so. This would mean the onboard heat, acting as Energy shown per the Axiomatic Equation, renders the craft less ‘heavy’ in its region of space. Hence, though beyond the scope of this paper, the probes are accelerating towards the Sun at a slightly lower rate than a pure variable G physics would conclude. 3.2: Additional Confirmations sought for a Variable Newton's G: Physics cannot explain the acceleration cum gravitational anomaly revealed by the Pioneers. Upon first calculating the Axiomatic Equation’s variable mass and G results, as shown for delta G growing at a constant rate 7.24E-11 G’/G per AU (before learning of the Pioneers Anomaly), it was hoped to find this anomaly in distant comet trajectories in the outer solar system. Though there was no effective way to measure this at their aphelion distances from the Sun without attaching a probe to them, it was thought to lead to a better understanding what comets do once they leave the vicinity of near Earth, where they can be readily observed. The Pioneers anomalous behavior led to a more immediate test of this variable mass cum G hypothesis, though not a conclusive test. We know what comets do here in our region of G, but do we truly know how they behave far out at the Kuiper, where G may be substantially higher? It should be noted that though G' is multiples of Earth's G for the outer planets, it is still a very small value of 10x-11, so that it remains a very weak force, though measurable. It is not until we get to the Oort Cloud where G may be a much higher value ( viz. G' = ~3.5E-6 N), that we would see a markedly different trajectory behavior, where the spaceprobe’s original momentum may be insufficient to break out of the Sun’s gravitational pull. The author thinks that the Oort Cloud is a 'graveyard' depository for all cosmic objects with insufficient momentum to leave the solar system, which may ultimately be the fate of our Pioneers as they settle into a very large elliptical orbit around the Sun. To achieve an escape velocity from the Sun requires more than a constant momentum, if an increasing delta G is a factor, so that it would need constant acceleration to go beyond the Oort Cloud. Studies proposed to measure greater inertial mass for the outer solar system [2] [3], such as by the European Space Agency, are a necessary first step to confirm a variable gravity. As computed per the Axiomatic Equation, the variable G works out to be approximately delta G = ~7.23E-11 per AU, whereas the Pioneers Anomaly works out to be in the rate of delta G = ~6.4E-11 per AU; both contrasted with the known Newton’s G of 6.67E-11. This observation, that ‘pure’ gravitational change per AU is higher than Earth’s G at 1 AU, and that the Pioneers are responding to a delta G lower than Earth’s, may be the subject of future studies. It appears the Newton’s G is radiant heat dependent. Some concluding observations: If Newton’s G is not a universal constant but radiant heat energy dependent, then it should be something to search for. This test is difficult on Earth because, as one body, the Earth’s gravitational influence is uniform for the planet. The only exception to this may be the Allais Effect [13], where on the planet’s surface in total solar eclipse, the Sun’s rays are temporarily blocked by the Moon, and thus creates a slight gravitational aberration; where G should be slightly greater. However, it is the author’s opinion that if the Pioneers Anomaly leads to the hypothesized variable G, then there should be dedicated tests of this phenomenon away from Earth’s 1 G. It is further theorized, beyond the scope of this paper, there is a ‘cut-off’ level of G where it ceases to grow and flattens out in the dark cold regions of very great intergalactic space. This level ‘universal’ G, per author’s independent calculations, seems to flatten out at a value of about five orders of magnitude greater than Earth’s G. Coincidentally, per the Axiomatic Equation and gravity conversion formula, this also coincides with wavelength for Einstein’s Photoelectric Effect, in the range of 400-700 nanometers. Separately, this same value for G also works out for the Oort Cloud, at >50,000 AU, where this cut-off is at about G’ = >3.5E-6 . Coincidentally, it is also how distant cosmic light redshifts at approximately the Hubble constant, if all the hydrogen atoms of ‘empty’ space (and dust) were added together as a linear mass for the distance of 1z, d = ~129 million light years, per higher proton mass-cum- G in the cosmic reaches of intergalactic space. It should also be noted that per the Equivalence Principle, proton mass in Earth kilograms varies, as shown, but it remains the same mass in its own G, so the mass itself never changes, only how it becomes redefined per the variable G cum Energy region where it is measured. For example, at ~10 G of Saturn’s orbit, the proton mass is tenfold in its local region, per Equivalence, but is one hundred fold in terms of Earth kilograms. This further underscores the importance of m = 1 kg/kg when considering variable mass in a variable G universe. Though no systemic reasons had been found for the Pioneers Anomaly [4], there had been earlier attempts to understand anomalous gravitational factors for the rotational curves of galaxies by MOND [5] or Toivo Jaakkola [6], as well as ‘dark matter’[11]; they may prove as ‘ad hoc’ explanations, however. APPENDIX: HOW AXIOMATIC EQUATION WAS DERIVED. A.1: Hypothesis for a new definition of Mass: Conceptually any value of one can be derived from an integer multiplied by its inverse, from zero to infinity, where the product is always = 1. This principle can be applied to mass as having a value that is the product of Energy and its inverse 1/c^2, to equal one. In our region of space, this will always work out to be E =~ 9E+16 Joules, or 90 petajoules, when m = 1. Because we measure gravitational mass on Earth in kilograms, this m = 1 kg is assumed. But it need not be limited to Earth's gravity, if gravity is not a universal constant, since this value of m = 1 kg may be different elsewhere. By this above reasoning, mass is retained as m = 1, but the kilograms is held aside for now and (m) will be treated as kg/kg instead, so that the value of one, as a product of inverse numbers, is preserved. This means that when there is a total interaction between E and 1/c^2, mass as m =1 is assured. But if this interaction is less perfect, meaning the numerator E is less than the denominator 1/c^2, mass becomes less than one. The evident assumption that follows is that if mass is less than exactly one, there is a remainder that must be accounted for. Given the Planck quantum equation E = hc/ (l)(proton m), we can see immediately that for E = 90 petajoules, given h = 6.626E-34 m^2 kg s^-1, c = 3E+8 m s^-1, and (l) = 1.322E-15 m, the resulting proton mass = 1.67E-27 kg [7], which thus matches Einstein's E = mc^2. However, now if the real mass is less than one, to satisfy DeBroglie's equation, leaving all things equal, we must find another value on the right side to satisfy the equation. One way to do this is to say that mass, always equal to one, is modified by a gravitic value related to the left side, its proton mass, to account for a real value less than one. This can be met with subtracting from m = 1 a proton-to-proton gravitational constant value, let's call it 'g', which on Earth is computed as g = ~5.9E-39, dimensionless. The resulting value for mass becomes m = (1-g) approximately, as will be explained. Though this value is so small as to appear negligible, it will be shown to be very important when values for E are calculated for different planetary orbital Energies. A.2 : Calculating Mass as a function of Energy: Thus far, what results from the above is an equation that looks like this: E = hc/ (l)(proton m) = ~(m)c^2 = ~(1-g)c^2 This is only an approximation, as will be shown later, but it serves to illustrate a principle. It also illustrates that (1-g)c^2 is a value of Energy that must translate into: (1-g)c^2 = c^2 - gc^2, whereby E' = E - gc^2, where E' is a true Energy value, and E is the inverse of 1/c^2. This ideal inverse relationship can only exist in its pure form if there is no gravity, otherwise, E' must be less than E, per this equation, which means E is an ideal number and mathematically correct, though E' represents a real value. If m =1, which means g becomes zero, it drops out, then the equation no longer works, except as a pure expression of E = mc^2. But no matter how small the g value, as long as g holds above zero, this equation may be usable as an expression of the interaction of Energy and its inverse, with a g remainder. The result is that E' is slightly less than E, of necessity, and that this Energy E' is the value sought after to calculate the proton gravitational constant g. Once found, then it can be converted into Newton's G, as will be shown. For now, the operable equation is an approximation for E': E' = hc/ (l)(proton m) = ~(1-g)c^2, where g is the proton gravitational constant, as it is subtracted from a mathematical ideal m = 1. This leaves us with two mathematical ideals: E/c^2 = m, and m = 1, which may not represent what happens in the real world. If we take one hydrogen atom as m = < 1, what we have is a proton nucleus surrounded by electron energy shell. This total atom is a unity of one minus its gravitational constant, as measured here on Earth, per this equation, which is less than the mathematical ideal, but closer to what is observed. Proton mass is a gravity effect, where on the left side the quantum E = hf is an energy effect. On the right, we have an ideal mass unit minus its gravitational coupling constant, times energy c^2, which should result in the Energy that defines E = hf. Thus, greater or lesser values for Energy E' will result in lesser or greater values for proton mass on the left, since they are inversely proportional, while at the same time on the right we should get the same proportional values for g. What we had hitherto assumed to be ideally equal, E = hf = mc^2, is in fact not, since there is a small remainder force of proton g to be accounted for. Though extremely small, this g is a sought after value, because it will enable us to calculate the like Newton's G value from it. A.3 : Computing Newton's G 'constant' from the Proton gravitational coupling 'constant': Multiplying out the above equation, we can see that mass is defined as (1-g) times the energy value of c^2, so that of necessity the proton gravitational constant, as a function of energy, becomes gc^2. However, this will be found as incomplete without pi^2. So the gravitational function G should now become: f(G)m = gc^2 (m) pi^2, to yield an approximation of G = 6.67E-11 m^3 kg^-1 s^-2, which is: f(G)m = (5.9E-39)(9E+16 m^2 s^-2) (pi)^2, which equals = 53.1E-23 (9.87) = 52.41E-22, in taking the square root is: function of G = ~7.239E-11 , which is in SI Base: G^2 (1) = g (1) m^2 s^-2 pi^2, where kg/kg is implied for m =1, and g is expressed in "Volts meters squared/second", viz. W/A m^2/s, where for A = Nm^-1, then (m^2 kg s^-3) (m^2 s^1)/ (m kg s^-2) (m^-1) = m^3 m kg/kg s^-2, making it V*m^2/s =V^2= (m^4 s^-2)(kg/kg) and therefore: G^2 = [(m^4 s^-2)(kg/kg)(m^2 s^-2) pi^2], (SI base units for f(g) may also be either as (kg s^-1) when E is in Watts; or kg when E is in Joules), still unresolved)** so taking the square root: G = (52.41E-22 m^6 s^-4 kg/kg)^1/2 = ~7.239 E-11 m^3 kg/kg s^-2 (which is ~0.57E-11 more than Newton's G = ~6.67E-11 Nm^2 kg^-2), as only an approximation of Earth's G. (see Addendum [b] below) Although this is only an approximation of Earth's G, and g estimated in SI units of Volts remains unresolved, it is a workable equation for converting proton gravitational constant into Newton's G, with a relatively close result. Though it is not exact, there may be other reasons why Earth's gravity is slightly less. Earth may generate its own energy, which may effect planetary spin or interior heat, and its magnetic field, though for now these will not be pursued. There may also exist a relationship between Earth's energy received from the Sun and its total orbital Energy, modified by its internally generated energy, but not covered here. A.4 : Comments on the preceding development: At this stage, the equations are still disconnected from their applications, which will follow, where the Newton's G 'constant' will be shown to grow linearly from the Sun at a constant rate of delta G = 7.239E-11 Nm^2 kg^-2 per AU. The purpose of the development thus far is to show how the DeBroglie-Einstein equation [7] can be modified to accommodate a gravitational value g, which can convert into Newton's G, and prove a useful variable. The goal will be ultimately to show how this new value of G applies to the Pioneers Anomaly. For now, we still need to finalize the above listed equations into what will be a workable model. Why was this not addressed a hundred years earlier by physics in Einstein's famous E = mc^2? My guess is that the value difference between ideal mass and real mass was so small, viz. 10x^-39, that it seemed irrelevant, so was basically ignored, or perhaps simply not yet understood. A.5 : Writing the Axiomatic Equation: If we postulate that solar Energy may be different for planetary orbits, we must accommodate this with the two values of Energy, as E' computed for the planets, and E for Earth, (where here E equals 90 petajoule), we need a qualifier function of f(E'/E) to satisfy the computed values of E'. It is obvious that for Earth, where E' = E, this additional function f(E'/E) is irrelevant, since it equals one, but for other planets this will become instrumental in computing their relative proton mass and gravitational constants. So the equation, factoring in this postulate, should be: E' = hc/ (l)(proton m) = f(E'/E)~(1-g)c^2 = planetary total orbital Energy An additional qualifier, to make g exact , which will become more meaningful later is a function: Proton gravitational constant f(g' ) = (proton m)' * g / (proton m), where (proton m)' = proton mass for E', and (proton m) = proton mass for E. So the full Axiomatic Equation, factoring in pi in conversion to G, should read as: E' = hc/ (l)(proton m) = f(E'/E) [1 - f(g')pi^2] c^2 _Where: f(E'/E) [1 - f(g') pi^2] is the modified version of Mass on the right side of the DeBroglie-Einstein equation, for m = 1, as a postulated Axiom [8]. * *(E' = 1/2 Rv^2 x solar irradiance. This was derived in the following manner: GM = Rv^2 , per Newton's orbital equation GMm/ R = mv^2 , per above with m included 1/2 GMm/R = 1/2 mv^2 , per above with 1/2 included, where: 1/2 mv^2 = KE , kinetic energy removing the m, putting R back on right 1/2 GM = 1/2 Rv^2 as a variation of Newton's orbital, including 'solar irradiance' in Watts/m^2, the equation becomes as used in Atomic Mass paper above: E' = solar irradiance x 1/2 R(1)v^2 = J/s (or Joules, if m=1=kg/kg) where R is planet distance from Sun, v^2 is planet's velocity squared (both in kilometers), times solar irradiance.) _________________________________________________________ References: [1] "Study of the anomalous acceleration of Pioneer 10 and 11" by John D. Anderson, Philip A. Laing, Eunice L. Lau, Anthony S. Liu, Michael Martin Nieto, Slava G. Turyshev (2002). http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0104064 [2] "Pioneer anomaly put to the test", Sept. 2004, PhysicsWeb.com news, authors: Slava Turyshev, John Anderson, Michael Martin Nieto. http://physicsweb.org/articles/world/17/9/3 [3] "Lessons Learned from the Pioneer 10/11 for a Mission to Test the Pioneer Anomaly", by S.G. Turyshev, M.M. Nieto, and J.D. Anderson. http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0409117 [4] "Conventional Forces can Explain the Anomalous Acceleration of Pioneer 10" by Louis K. Scheffer: http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/0107092 [5] "Modified Newtonian dynamics (MOND)", Wikipedia encyclopedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modified_Newtonian_dynamics [6] "Action-at-a-Distance and Local Action in Gravitation", by Toivo Jaakkola: http://redshift.vif.com/JournalFiles/Pre2001/V03NO3PDF/V03N3JAA.PDF [7] DeBroglie-Einstein wavelength equation, per Hyperphysics.com: http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/debrog.html#c1 [8] Axiomatic Equation, further reading: http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?70/108.html and "Does Gravity Zero-point Energy Explain Spin" http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?70/145.html by I.D. Alexander et al, for how these ideas were derived. [9] "Nasa Planetary Fact Sheet": http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/planetfact.html [10] "Atomic Mass as a Gravity and Energy Function, per the Axiomatic Equation: with implications for the Pioneer 10 and 11 Distant Probes Acceleration Anomalies"© by I.D. Alexander (Nov. 27, 2004, not published). http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?70/166.html [11] Galactic Halo Gravitational Lensing paper: "Weak Lensing Constraints on Galaxy Halos" by H. Hockstra, Oct. 19, 2005 at: http://arxiv.org/PS_cache/astro-ph/pdf/0510/0510546,pdf [12] Equivalence Principle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equivalence_principle [13] Allais Effect: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allais_effect Addendum: [a] There may be a lower, gentler MOND for our solar system, as described per this post: http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?tpc=88&post=3497#POST3497 Ivan D. Alexander humancafe@aol.com www.humancafe.com November 12, 2005 Ps: I'm posting this paper here just for fun | ||
| Ed Chesky |
Hi Ivan, Great work In terms of your posting, much about the universe remains to be discovered and until science advances to the point where data is obtained to contradict it the established view of the nature of the universe will not change. Scientists are for the most part very conservative. This is evident from the nature of the system they built with regards to the scientific method. Great minds that intuitively make great leaps are often overlooked and pushed off to the side lines until their, "radical" views are proven by scientific evidence to be true. The great thing about the itnernet is that people can view what they like and have the ability to view and consider all view points on a subject. In ancient days for proposing a radical view of the universe that goes against established thought you would have been burned at the stake. We have made some progress and in this day and age you can with the click of the mouse post your premise in a place that is viewed by millions of people. What I have tried to do with geometry is show how the great minds of geometry have developed a parallel understanding of the nature of the universe. A view on the nature of creation that that has evolved over the course of 3000 years. This view was built upon the basics established by the ancient Greeks and Egyptions long ago. These basics form the bedrock of our science and math. by saying something is impossible in the field of geomotry limited minds in their arrogence have closed doors leading to paths of understanding that bring us closer to understanding the true nature of creation. This is why in ancient days the greats of geometry math and science encrypted their works and hid it out of fear of persecution. In time others will build upon our work and take us places we have yet to dream of. On this sight we have stired the imagination of millions, Islamic, Hindu, Asian Chinese, and a host of others. With logic and geometry, some lines on a piece of paper, and few clicks of a mouse we have built a network that spans the globe. What more can you ask. My Best and be well Ed Chesky | ||
| Le Chef |
PS Ivan, what kind of 'Shrooms you doin'? i want some!  Peace. | ||
| IVAN |
‘BREAD CRUMBS’ TRAIL – a Chronological Anthology. This follows with short excerpts the trail from the original seminal ideas to what later became the Axiomatic Equation, with links to pages showing related arguments. 1. Oct. 23, 2001: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/30.html If 1 x 1 = 1 2. March 29, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/49.html On reading Quantum physics, on a possible Theory of Everything; i.e., Paul Davies "The New Physics" (Cambridge Univ. 1989), and John Gribbin "The Search for Superstrings, Symmetry, and the Theory of Everything" (Little Brown 1998); I am struck by a common problem to which there seems to be no solution. Though best minds have studied this for over a century, from Faraday and Planck to Einstein and Fermi to Salam and Weinberg to Gell-Mann and Nambu and Wu and scores others, there is a lack of conceptual coordination, as expressed by the mathematics, of being able to relate the strong and weak forces, electromagnetic forces, and the weakest force of gravity, into a general theory. I suspect that it may be possible to re-coordinate the mathematical expressions where there is a ‘basic common denominator’ into which all functions have to fall, and from which all Quantum interactions of the higher levels would then find expression. 3. April 6, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/49.html ALGORITHMS (Note, this was an important conceptual step in the formation of what follows; more on same page: April 25, 2002, very early thinking on the matter.) 4. May 2, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/49.html And I posit the algorithm to express the interaction between photonic light and super gravity with: 5. June 23, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/59.html Remember that G, in my TOE, is only a left over force, what's left from the EM and SuperGrav interaction, which creates mass. In our corner of the universe, G appears to be constant, because the level of EM here is constant, but go beyond the solar system where there is less photon light, and gravity intensifies, which means any object beyond Pluto starts to weigh more, the further it goes, the more mass it gets. This will be so until it reaches another sun system, then its mass will lighten again, as more photons are present. Well, that's my intuitive bet, supported by my rather odd math, which adds up to having an infinite like force, the photon (zero mass), interact with another infinite like force, super gravity (infinite mass). Whether or not the photon has mass is irrelevant in this case. It's in their ability to modify each other that matters. 6. June 23, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/59.html "Mystery force tugs distant probes."(This was first time I heard of Pioneer Anomaly.) 7. August 14, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/60.html LIGHT PHOTON WAVELENGTH FOR TOE (This was an incomplete idea, but on its way. Also see August 15, 2002, same page.) 8. August 25, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/60.html ELECTRON "HARMONICS" FOR HYDROGEN © 9. August 29, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/60.html WHY THE MATH WORKS: for (h/cw) + g = mass =1. 10. September 13, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/60.html "BLACK HOLE" KITCHEN EXPERIMENT: 11. September 15, 2002: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/65.html ATOMUS SUMMUS ET UNIVERSUS: 12. February 6, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/79.html GRAVITY IS ? 13. February 28, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/79.html GRAVITY IS STRANGER THAN FICTION?(This was first time I conceived of how to convert proton-proton gravitation relationship into Newton’s G.) 14. March 15, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/97.html AXIOMATIC EQUATIONS OF THE NEW PHYSICS: (This was when the Axiomatic Equation was first formulated, still subject to revisions.) 15. March 20, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/79.html Random Notes on Spin, as it applies to a neutron star. 16. June 26, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html AXIOMATIC EQUATIONS (FOR THE NEW PHYSICS) (Also see posts June 30 – August 27, 2003, same page) 17. August 18, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/1/79.html SOME MEMORABLE CONCEPTS FROM TOE OF THE NEW PHYSICS 18. September 16, 2003: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html A UNIFIED THEORY of Gravity and Energy: The Axiomatic Equation ©(Also see posts October 25 – December 27, 2003, same page) 19. January 31, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html MOMENTUM, and gravitational mass. 20. March 21, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html MASS FUNCTIONS, per the Axiomatic New Physics. 21. May 26, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html THINKING ON GRAVITY G, a possible interpretation in Volts?{Also see June 1-3, 2004, same page.) 22. June 3, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/122.html AXIOMATIC CUT-OFF FREQUENCY FOR GRAVITY? 23. October 4, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html ENERGY AND GRAVITY SLOPES, as computed using the Axiomatic Equation. (This was first time I saw the Energy to Newton’s G relationship as a graph.) 24. October 23, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html THE G 'CONSTANT' PER AU DISTANCES, and the Pioneers Anomaly. (First faltering steps matching up variable G with Pioneer Anomaly. Also see November 16 & 19, 2004, where "function of Energy" is introduced.) 25. October 24, 2004: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/145.html ENERGY AND GRAVITY SLOPES, as computed using the Axiomatic Equation. 26. March 1, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/166.html HYPOTHETICAL ATOMIC MASS AS A GRAVITY AND ENERGY FUNCTION, PER THE AXIOMATIC EQUATION: With Implications for the Pioneers 10 & 11 Acceleration Anomalies.(Though it had been formulated earlier, November 27, 2004, this paper was the first formal presentation of variable mass per variable G as cause of Pioneer Anomaly.) 27. March 2, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/145.html SPIN RATIOS CURVE SOLVED:(Exploring idea of planetary spin as function of planet energy and planet heat, inconclusive.) 28. March 30, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/166.html GENERAL RELATIVITY IN A VARIABLE G UNIVERSE?(Commentary on the needed revision to Einstein’s GR, if G is variable.) 29. March 30, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html DEEP SPACE GRAVITY?(Started to look into gravitational redshift for cosmic light, as function of high G. See also June 19, 2005, same page.) 30. June 19, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html Energy equation per the Axiomatic: (First attempt to factor in solar energy with Axiomatic Equation.) 31. June 28, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/166.html VARIABLE MASS IN VARIABLE G, PER EQUIVALENCE PRINCIPLE 32. July 10, 2005: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/70/108.html LIGHT REDSHIFT DISTANCE TRAVELED AT 1 Z (in intergalactic medium), with implications for deep space gravity.(To show how cosmic light redshift is a natural deep space gravity phenomenon.) 33. April 2, 2006: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/6/23.html?1146006989 (This is the last definitive paper written on the application of the Axiomatic Equation to possible cause for Pioneer Anomaly. Judgment is reserved until we find evidence that Newton’s G is not a universal constant, as believed.) A VARIABLE MASS PER VARIALBE G HYPOTHESIS, AS A MODEL FOR THE ANOMALOUS ACCELERATION OF PIONEERS 10 AND 11 -- per the Equivalence Principle and the Axiomatic Equation. Postscripts: May 4, 2006: http://www.humancafe.com/discus/messages/6/17.html?1147019968 Some Postcripts on M-Theory and Gravity, and Super Massive Black Holes (SMBH). 34. June 17, 2007: http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?tpc=88&post=3944#POST3944 (Notes, work in progress) Earth may have a micro-black hole at its central core, with an 'inner core' boundary defined by it. The same may be true of the Sun's mini-BH, with its 'core boundary' defined by the Asteroid belt. Looking for collaborative evidence from geoneutrinos and other factors, such as the inner core anisotropy and geomagnetic drift. 35. Jue 25, 2007: http://www.humancafe.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?tpc=88&post=3950#POST3950 On Gravity: connecting the dots... (a list of where we are) 36, Oct. 28, 2007: Black Hole co-evolution theory. So, putting it all together, the idea that a total elimination of hot radiant energy (which is counter intuitive for a galaxy center) would lead to increased gravity to its maximum becomes possible. Hence, if 'g' rises to a value of =1, per the Axiomatic when E=0, then G^2=gc^2 pi^2 is same as G^2= 1*c^2 pi^2 which taking square root give us G=c*pi. (I assumed pi drops out on a point, but not necessarily so.) So now if all radiant energy is nixed out, G becomes as high if not higher than its radiant light-energy equivalent, and thus light cannot escape it. And therefore, it now makes sense that the surround radiant energy around a galactic black hole would coincide with the size of this black hole, since they are relative to each other. 37. Nov. 4, 2007: What is space? [Ps: I slept on this, and the answer to 'space is gravity' seems to be 'the atom is the messenger'. Weird answer, but thinking about it, what Axiomatic seems to be saying is in low e.m. hot energy the atom 'picks up' more of space-vacuum energy, which is gravitational, so exhibits higher G; conversely, in hight e.m. energy, the atom picks up more light energy to suppress the space-vacuum, hence lower G. So 'space' is merely a state-of-being which is all gravity, and when all e.m. energy is suppressed (like in galaxy black hole where all e.m. lambda cancels out) then ALL gravity takes over, and that's immense. The reason this is impossible anywhere else in space is because there is always background 'noise' of e.m. energy flying around, so even if G is very great, it never goes to max except in black hole conditions (which may also be true inside all massive hot bodies). But in this intepretation, space has no waves, gravity has no waves, since it is merely a state of being; what has waves is its duality opposite, hot radiant energy, which then modifies how the atom messengers perform to exhibit either more or less gravity. Neutron stars are an important clue to how much gravity exists in free space away from hot stars... Keeping thinking, but the real evidence is out there. The brass ring goes to the first one who finds real evidence of a variable G, away from Earth's known 1G. Once that happens, everything changes, even the energy used in our future engines, whch will tap into the space-vacuum gravity potentials.] * * * * * * This is the work to date on how the Axiomatic Equation was derived, and its consequence on how Newton’s G may not be a ‘universal constant’ as now believed. I leave it here merely as a record of what mental processes went into its formulation, though not all inputs were covered, as no doubt many relevant pages and references were missed. They’re just a trail of ‘bread crumbs’ for anyone who wishes to follow. -IDA * * * * * * * My special thanks to all participants on these threads who helped in generating ideas, many of which stand on their own, as an evolutionary process of a new understanding of gravity. The search continues, looking for space observational confirmations of variable G, or 'free vortex' confirmations in the laboratory of 'space-vacuum' energy. Either end will do. Ivan D. Alexander California, USA | ||
| Ivan/Kumeyaay-Ipi |
Ipi of the Desert – a Kumeyaay boy’s journey into manhood. by Ivan Alexander  1. The Trek Down the Mountain. The moon shone bright and I could hardly sleep. It was almost morning, I was so excited. Today was the day we would begin our journey down. My name is Ipi, and every season I can remember, when the clouds gathered over the mountains and it became cool, we would gather up our clan to make the long trek down into the big desert valley below. My mother, Matiye, and two sisters, Tipa and Nicu, would march with my uncle’s clan, the Kwayu clan. My older sister Tipa was already a woman, and Nicu was almost of age. I was the next youngest. There will be twenty of us only, because of the great death some time ago, when my father died. His name was Tukapa, and I remember him only a little, same as I remember almost a little of two baby sisters and one older brother. That was a sad time, the old people still talk about it, in whispers. It is not polite to speak of the dead. My uncle will help guide our family down the long trails to our camp in the desert, and for this I was very excited to go. On the edge of the clearing under the tall trees the darkness was broken in places, where the people were up already, making small fires under the moonlight. My uncle was up also, I could see him with the other men. He took my father’s name, Tukapai, and was now a clan leader. So I call him father. We had gathered our things yesterday for the trek, but were waiting for the shaman to lead us. His name is Tapawaye, and he is the wisest of men. He knows where are the trails, where to find water, and when it is time to go. My sisters liked the forest better, because they can run and hide behind the trees when boys chase them. But I like the big desert better, because I can see game far away. I want to be a hunter, like my father. I could hear the men talking in low voices, while women were gathering up the last bundles of dried meal and meats to carry down with us. We had two mules and a horse to help carry the loads, but most things will be on our backs. My bedroll and satchels of food would be tied to my back. I also had two water gourds, and a knife. In my mind I could see where I hid my wooden bow amid the rocks of our desert camp, from last time. It would need new sinew stretched over it. There are two new arrowheads in my satchel, but I will make more when we arrive. I also fashioned some long shafts from straight branches, which are in my bedroll. Attaching points will be my first task when we arrive. I could not wait to go, but we would not until Tapawaye was here. "Ipi, come help your sisters load the animals," my mother called to me when she saw I was awake. "Yes mother," I answered, but I really wanted to join the men by the fires. "Then go and pick some berries for the trip," she added. I really wanted to hear what the men were saying about the soldiers from the Mission seen on horseback a few days ago. They were spotted on the side of the mountain towards the setting sun, the west. I had never seen it, but men talked of a vast sea beyond the mountains that stretched as far as anyone could see, and that Spanish men from far away, they had very pale skin, used the sea to travel in large wooden boats. Even our shaman had seen this when he was a boy, because he lived at the Spanish Mission then. But I find this hard to believe. All I could think of is the large open spaces of the desert, where I could see as far as my eyes will take me, all the way to the other mountains where the sun rises. There it was not foggy like here, but clear and beautiful. But that must wait, so I packed my things on the mule, as my sisters were packing things too. "Ipi, help us gather some berries," they asked me. That is girls work, but I must do it too. So as the sun was just rising over the distant mountains, I joined Tipa and Nicu at the berry patch. We picked enough for the whole clan in a short while, the bushes were thick with berries, and these were gathered in a cloth sack. My sisters ate some for breakfast, I took a handful in my mouth too. But I was not hungry, more thirsty, so walked over to the spring. As I gazed into the clear water, I was suddenly aware of a presence near me. When I looked up, it was Tapawaye, who smiled at my surprise. "Are you ready Ipi?" He looked at me with wisdom filled eyes. "Yes, I very much am ready to journey, your kindness." It made me feel good when he looked at me, though many held him in fear. They feared his magic. But I liked him. He made me feel strong inside. He knew the way few others did. My uncle was wise, but not like this. Tapawaye’s wisdom was special. "Do we leave this morning?" "I believe all are ready, so when your are, we lift our burdens and go." I watched him as he turned his back to leave, not a tall man, slim of build not like a warrior, older man, but he walked with a quiet confidence I admired. Everyone was ready. The sun was now shining, but still cool in the morning mist of the forest. I could tell from how everyone stopped what they were doing that it was time. Our last camp was in preparation for this annual trek, now that leaves had begun turning, so we camped close to the forest’s edge. Without a word, everyone picked up their bundles, the animals shifted with a snort, Tapawaye was already walking, the others fell in behind. My family was in the front of the file, my uncle holding the reigns of the mule, my mother walking by his side. The old people and youngest children were at the rear, where they kept each other company. They were slower, but would catch up at the stops. Everyone had their own pace, and mine was quickest, like our dogs that followed chasing here and there, because I could not wait to get there. I wanted to see the forest end, at the edge of the mountain so I can see the great valley below. And in a short time of walking, we were there. As we walked the ridge the trail began its long descent. There it was, the desert I dreamed off all the warm season. The forest is cool then with rain and clouds flowing into small streams. It has good pasture for the horses and mules, and it smells soft and green. But the desert smells hard of rocks, even after a rain. Yet, looking down into that vast valley below, it was magic there. The color of stone and sand stretches forever, the air dry and pure. The sun always shines, and when storms come, they are spectacular to watch. Tall clouds of black and white flashing with lightening and thunder, and then they burst into torrents of water from the sky in a big blue sky, even hail from the spirit gods. My uncle and father worship those gods of sky and earth, and I do too. What stretched before my eyes was a world of gods, of spirits who are both giving and cruel, with life or death. It is easy to get lost in the desert and die of thirst. But it does not make me afraid. It makes me strong. The desert to me is the power of life and death. I was born there, my mother said. I noticed a change in the people as we walked the crest. Some fell silent, looking, while others became excited. My older sister Tipa was now walking behind us with a man, Pawa. He is a tall and strong man, good teeth and easy smile, strong arms like a warrior. He is also a good hunter. She and Pawa talked quietly as they walked, but at times she would laugh, or his voice would rise, and they both laughed. I think she likes him very much. And he likes her too. Up ahead Tapawaye walked with a firm step down the slopes, his long wooden staff in hand, and now that we began our descent he too was silent. Our stop tonight will be at the palm oasis. I remember it from before. It has a small clear pool of water and many palms all around it. There is game there, but also mountain lions, so we must be careful, especially at night. As we walked, the animals clumsily tripped over rocks on the trail, they were not used to the desert, or had forgotten. I watched clouds gather over the mountains beyond. But it would not rain here. "What do you think of, Ipi," asked my uncle who came up beside me. All the others were trailing behind, with only the shaman ahead of us. I wanted to go ahead of him too, but that would be impolite. Tukupai asked me again. "What do you see down there?" "Water," I answered him. "I was thinking of where we hid the earthen pots at the camp." "You’ll remember, once we arrive. But that is tomorrow, today we make camp half way." "Yes, I remember." He stroked the thick hair on my head, and then went back to walk by Matiye. I think they like each other too, because many nights they sleep together. But my mind was elsewhere, not here on the trail. I was already at the caves of the camp far below. When my uncle asked me, I was trying to remember where I hid my arrowheads. Tapawaye came to a sudden stop and raised his hand. We all stopped too. I could hear the faint rattle of the desert snake. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a large rattle. He started shaking it furiously while chanting magical words, which I could not understand, as they were magic. In time the snake stopped, and we all saw it move away. The magic worked, and we were safe to continue. Further down the path the trail began to twist back and forth, because here it was very steep. Pawa took hold of the reigns of our mule and guided it down carefully, Tipa still by his side. As we climbed lower I felt the air grow warm, and it made my heart glad, because now we had left the forest and really entered the desert. I looked back to see the old people far behind us, so it was time for a stop. Once again, when we got to a flat place, Tapawaye raised his hand. The clouds I saw far away had disappeared, and now the sun was really hot. My water gourd felt good hanging from my shoulder, so I too a small drink. Others were doing the same. My bed roll hung over my back was getting heavy, and the sun was almost at its highest point in the sky. It was cool in the mountains, but it will be hot below. As my father once explained to me, when I was still very little, the sun rises in the eastern mountains, but sets in the western mountains, where it goes to sleep until the next day. But at midday, it hovers right over our heads. This was almost that time now, and we had been walking a long time. It was again time to stop, which we did. The animals were glad, and it was time for some food. Mostly, dried meal and a strip of dried meat was all we had, except for the berries my sisters passed down the line all the way back to the old people. As the sun dropped down in the sky, and by then we had been walking a long time, I noticed my sandals were beginning to hurt. They were made of hard grasses woven together into strands. My mother made them for me, and for this trek she sewed leather soles to make them sturdy. But now they hurt. The old people had fallen far behind, while Tapawaye was far ahead, but I could see the palms in the distance. We were almost at our stop for the night. My friend Dakui who had traveled with his grandfather at the rear now caught up with us. It was good to see how happy he was. "Ipi! We can hunt for nuts." "Why yes, pinon should be ready." I was glad to see my friend. "But are you not frightened of the lions who live here?" "No! They are more afraid of us them we of them!" "You speak like a hunter," I laughed. "If there is danger, we brings spears." When we arrived at the oasis, everyone sat down, they were so tired of the walk. Fresh water felt good to drink and splash on our faces. My sisters opened the satchel tied to the mule, and took out a clay pot. This one was a gift from Tukupai when he came to live with us. It had beautiful black and red lines on it. Nicu filled it with fresh water for the evening meal. Mother was already starting a small fire. She prepared meal in the metate stone, which then mixed with water and flattened into breads was placed on a hot stone in the fire. The smell reminded me how hungry I was. So Dakui and I set out to find pinon nuts, because we wanted to share this with our families. It is only polite. In the growing darkness, we spotted pinon bushes, so took our small satchels to gather some. They were very ripe, easy to pick off the trees, and we quickly filled the bags. By the time we finished it had fallen dark, and we realized we better get back to camp. We did not bring spears, so we were unarmed for the lions. Quickly we walked, because now it was dark, back towards the fires we could see not far off. But then, just as we started, Dakui tripped and fell. "What happened, are your hurt?" "No, I was not careful…" And then we both heard the same thing. It was a rock slipping off and falling, then a twig snap. "The lion!…" we both whispered to each other. Our eyes were growing wide in the darkness. "Where is he?" "I don’t know. The moon is not up yet. Can you see?" he asked in whispers. "No…" I whispered back. Then I reached for my stone pointed knife. If I did not have a spear, at least I can cut him, hit his eyes. "Can you smell him?" "Yes, I think so… over there." He pointed off into the darkness. I immediately reached for some stones and threw them as hard as I could in the direction he pointed. We both listened, silent. "There he goes!" cried Dakui, "he’s running!" I threw more stones, and now we both stood up and shouted into the dark. Stones fell, and the sound of running soft paws could be heard up the hill. "I think we scared him," I said first, but my friend was already running back to camp. No reason to tempt the spirits of the lion again, so I ran too. "We have pinon nuts," we both announced when we returned to the others, as if nothing had happened. We stopped running just before we got to the circle of fires at the oasis, though we still were out of breath. My uncle looked at me with a puzzled expression, but I moved over to my mother quickly. Dakui was with his family too. We could not tell them we were afraid. The bread tasted delicious. Shortly after we got back Pawa came to camp carrying a desert sheep on his shoulders he had killed, much to Tipa’s delight. Dakui and I never mentioned that mountain lion again. He came from the same direction we came from, but Pawa never mentioned it either. 2. First Camp. When I rose the next morning, the bright moon was still shining over us, it bathed the whole canyon with light. As dawn showed first faint light over the mountains, the sky was still dark with may stars. By this light I could see clearly outlined palms, and the valley stretched below. Cacti stood out in the dark, as reminders to be careful where we walked. Birds had awoken too, so they filled the canyon with their songs. A coyote who wanted to drink dared not come closer, so he called his howl to us, and as warning to his friends. Another answered, and then another, and then the dogs barked and howled, so the hills echoed. I slept well, my blanket tight around me, but it was not cold. The morning air felt good, and it still smelled faintly of fire. The sun would rise shortly, as the eastern sky was turning blue, so I rolled up my bedding. Our shaman Tapawaye was also up, so I walked over to him. "Good morning, your kindness." "Good morning Ipi. Sleep well? Any dreams?" He was rekindling the hot ash by blowing on them. "I don’t remember any," I said, though I thought I dreamt something. "Dreams are important." He continued blowing until the dry grasses flared up. "I did dream." He pointed to the western sky still dark. "See those clouds over the mountains?" I said I did. "They will bring rain today." He then added small branches to the fire, and then placed three stones in between the flames. "Do you remember the painted rock?" "I remember it. You asked me if I can read what it said." "Yes," he smiled. "We walked past it then, but this time we may need to stop there." "But you said the writing was magic, and that I did not read the magic right." "Yes, you remember. But I also said when you are older, you will try." "I’m older now, so I try again?" We talked like this until the stones were hot. "Fetch me some water from the spring, if you like." I jumped up and took a small travel basket, the kind with waterproof weave lined with pitch, and brought it back full. He poured this into a small wood bowl and quickly dropped the hot stones into it, and in a short time the water was hot. "Would like some morning tea?" "Yes, I would. " He poured some herbs into the water and we waited. "But did you dream it will rain?" I asked him after some time. "You see those tall ocotillo? They are green, which means it had already rained here. And the pool here is full. So the season had started." I nodded that I understood. "In the desert you must always follow the rains. Water is life here." "Like the coyote calls this morning, he was telling everyone in his clan that people had arrived to the water." "Yes, the coyote follows the same patterns of life we do. But they also follow us, because we may leave behind some kill, which they clean up. And we follow them too, because they tell us where there is game. You see, it is all a circle." "So we wait to come here until the rains come?" I was now sipping some tea from his bowl, it tasted sweet and warm. "And then we go back to the mountains when they stop." "Yes, that is how it is. The circle then completes." "But I did dream something," I just remembered. "I dreamt I was singing… but I can’t remember what." "There are many songs, some sacred to call on spirits, some to tell stories. And some to call the rains." He looked at me as he took another sip of tea. "Your dream may have called the rain." He smiled at me when he said this. "Maybe?" By now as the sun sent its first rays over the mountain, everyone had awakened and were busy. Mother and sisters had packed up the bedrolls, tightly tied to the mule. The animals drank again, as did dogs and people. It will be a long hot trek today. Though we pass another spring not far away, the water there is not so sweet as here, it tastes a little of salt, but still drinkable. When we were ready, I hoisted my bedroll across my back, and filled my water gourds. Again Tapawaye led the procession, and without a word we all started down the canyon. Soon the palms were behind us and desert opened up into a large valley. We walked like this across flat land with occasional stops for the old people and little children to catch up. Dogs chased desert rabbits, and some of the older children picked cactus fruit. These must be peeled carefully with a sharp edge to remove the spines, and the fruit inside is juicy and sweet. All the berries were eaten, so these fruits now made our walk pleasant. Some cactus flowers are edible, so the children, both boys and girls, gathered them also. They will use them in ceremonies, for drinks. We also gathered feathers, especially when colorful, also for ceremonies. "Will we reach camp by nightfall?" I asked Tukupai, who was walking with mother. The day was already past its mid point and I knew camp was still far. "We may stop at your mother’s cousins tonight, it is on the way," he answered. "I had not seen my cousins for many months," my mother answered him. "It would be good to talk with them, and see them." "It depends on the storm over there." I saw the tall storm clouds too. "We may go for temporary shelter if it breaks." I watched them walk together, like my father walked with mother long ago. I was happy they shared the same walk, because I like my uncle. He is a kind man. My sisters were walking together now, Pawa was walking with his family. I could see my friend Dakui walking with his grandparents. His family died in the great death, when my father and little sisters died. But my thoughts were turning sad, so I looked out over the desert beauty again, and it made my heart glad. We arrived at the painted rock when the sky was very dark, but it had not rained. I ran up to Tapawaye, to seek his council. "Should we stop at the shelters here?" I asked him. "How do you know there are shelters here?" he asked me in turn. "Because I remember, from last time." He then pointed to the rock with red and yellow lines on it. "What do they say, Ipi, these drawings?" I studied them again. It was the same as last time, a lizard, ten markings, clouds and lightening, the sun… I wondered about them as the clouds grew thicker. "It is now!" I finally answered him as the others were arriving. "The drawings is for us to know that weather may change." "And then?" He pointed to the ten markings. I puzzled over them. Then I remembered something about markings for counting, so said so. "Which way do they slope?" "To the right… with the line underneath." He nodded, and asked me again. "That means ten, but for each mark is ten again, I think." "Yes. It means ten steps, but for each ten there are ten steps again. And because it is to the right, we must walk that way." He pointed down the trail. "Shall we try it while the others arrive?" As the weary travelers came together and stopped to rest, Tapawaye and I walked down the trail, counting. At each ten steps, he made me hold up a finger, and then count ten steps again. When all fingers were up, we stopped. "What do you see now?" I looked up the rocks of the hillside. "A trail… a small trail up the rocks." "Now remember the drawings. What was at the bottom of the lizard?" "A cave with three markings in it." "Yes, now climb up the trail." We quickly climbed until we came to a small cave. When I looked in, there were three rocks in it. "That’s the cave!" I was very excited to see this. "But what does it mean?" "That we are in the right place." Tapawaye looked up the hill. "Up there is water, if we need it. And because it will rain today, there will be water flowing." He then led me back down, and while we walked back he explained all the markings painted to me. But I cannot tell what they all mean, because some of it is magic, and some only for shamans to know. But I did learn that water flows there in the small valley above us. And the lizard was a rock ladder. We then joined all the others. By now all had gathered to consult where next we would go. "Up that valley is the way to our camp," Tapawaye explained. "But rain is coming, and it is still a very long way. We do not have daylight if we stop for shelter." All agreed that this would be unwise. "This valley here leads to shelter, and only a short distance beyond is the Tipai clan. We can stop there for the night." It was agreed, that we should overnight at the Tipai camp. That is where my mother is from, and this made her very happy. My uncle was happy too. Tipa and Nicu were also pleased, because they have friends there. So we set off towards the valley of our cousins. It now had started to rain, a light rain, but we quickened our step. At the end of the small valley where it opens, everyone hurried to find shelter in the rocks, because now it was raining hard. Tapawaye held back and when I arrived he asked to stop too. "Wait here Ipi, while the others reach shelter." It was raining, so we both waited aside of the trail while the others passed, even the old people. My bare skin was getting cold from the rain. The oilcloth covering my bedroll was also my poncho against the rain, so I thought of taking it off to cover myself, but I waited. Tapawaye was also wet. The air was cold and blowing. When all had passed us by, he asked me to look down the trail. "What do you see, Ipi?.. this is important." I looked, and all I could see was wet stone. We were alone with only stone for company. It smelled wet now. Then I saw it, the stone that was red. It stood out in the rain. "That stone is marked," I said. "It had been made red." Tapawaye was pleased with my answer. "Do you know why?" I answered I did not, but said it was done on purpose by someone long ago. "You are right, it was cut this way." We walked closer to see it better. "When our clan long ago passed through here, they peeled off the top to show the red inside the stone." The rain stopped in a moment, and the sun again came through the clouds. "They wanted us to know there is shelter here. Remember this, because when you see red marker that are shaped like this," he made a square with his hands, "that means shelter." I understood, and then we hurried back to the others who were already hidden under the large rocks, safe and dry. The rain returned, but inside the caves small fires were started to warm us. Animals stayed outside, but they like the rain. We do too, but not to stand in. Inside the shelter I could stand, but tall people had to sit. I warmed quickly by my mother’s side. When the sky cleared, and the sun was getting low, we all set off for the Tipai camp. Just before dark we arrived. The first to see us coming were children, and they quickly ran to tell the others, who ran up to greet us with loud shouts of welcome. "Ayyeee!" they shouted. "Come here, we have food! And drink!" Everyone was very happy at our arrival. Boys showed us their spears, very proud of their sharp points. They also had shiny golden stones, for magic. The girls proudly showed off their collection of flowers, small lizard skins. But most of all they were proud of their grass weavings, which could be made into skirts of sleeping mats. When we admire these, their smiles were wide, because they were very happy. My mother’s brothers lifted her off the ground when they hugged her. Her mother and father, my grandparents, also died in the great death, but it is not spoken. We who are alive are thankful to the spirits who saved us. I could smell squash soup being made. And Pawa skinned the desert goat he killed, and made it a gift to their shaman, who is called Kiwaye. We all ate meat that night along with meal flat bread and soup. Together we all were ten times five, so many shared the shelters that night. The clouds had gone and now the stars filled the sky, with the great way down the middle. The Tipai clan made small shelters of branches and palm leaves, which they gathered at the stream at the end of the valley, where the canyon has water flowing. Four or five could sleep in each one, close together, but this kept us warm. I slept with Nicu and Tipa in one, with two cousins, while mother and my uncle slept in another, with her brothers. Kiwaye and Tapawaye talked and sang songs together by the fire until the moon rose. We were all very happy with full bellies that night. I fell asleep listening to the shaman songs, as they sang of the great Chinigchinich in the sky. Everyone knew this song. 3. Our Camp Revived. We rose early to a beautiful sunny day. Water rocks were dripping from the day before, and baskets were placed to collect it beneath the large stones. A small stream gathered near the camp, but this would soon return to sand, except where a hole was dug, where water would be available for one more day or two. After tea and flat breads, our clan prepared for the last part of our journey. We would be at our old camp by afternoon, long before sunset, which is good. It will give us time to find our things in daylight. Tapawaye bid Kiwaye many thanks for his kind hospitality, and exchanged feathers as is customary. So we packed the animals, picked up our burdens, and set off on the path once more. The morning moon was faint in the sky now, almost gone back into the blue. I found Dakui who walked in the rear. "Are you excited? We will soon be there! Do you remember the stone knives we made together? Do you have spear shafts with you? We can cut new ones." We talked with excitement at finding our arrow points hidden in the caves, and the hunting we will do together. "I want to kill many rabbits," he exclaimed. "They are good eating for us." "Meat makes you strong, my uncle told me. I want to be a great hunter too." We talked like this until the distance shrank, as we were almost there. I could now recognize the mountains around us, and the valley with trees further down where water always runs in the small stream. There I will find more straight branches for my arrows, down by the creek where they grow in straight tall bushes with thin leaves. It felt good to be home again in the desert, after a long trek. I could tell from how people talked they were happy too. In the desert the spirit runs free and wild. Far in the sky I could see a hawk circling, also free. A band of coyotes were surprised by us, and the hare they were chasing ran off, so they yelped in protest at us. Fast running birds crossed our path twice, and more desert hares too. We were entering a rich hunting area. Up in the canyons lived desert goats, the males with large curved horns, very good eating too. I wanted to hunt those this time, because I was too little before. Pawa can teach me. He was walking with Tipa again, leaving Nicu with my mother. They talked with excitement also, of how they would find their pots hidden in the sand, and plant squash up the canyons where water gathered in a field. The sun was now hot on our backs, but we kept walking, only sparingly taking water when we needed to. In the desert it is important to learn how to suffer thirst without thinking about it, because sometimes the water may be far away, or not where expected, so we must survive without it longer. I had almost full gourds, because I wanted to drink as little as I could without fainting. It felt good to feel the heat, the hot sun, the dry air on my skin. But already I could see clouds gathering over the mountains, and wondered if Tapawaye saw them too. The forest was now a distant memory, and though I like it there, there is no home like the desert. It is magical for me. Two vultures circled high above us. We will arrive safely, so they will be disappointed. All the people quickened their step when we could see the hill where our camp was. I ran up to Tapawaye at the front of the party. "We are almost there!" I exclaimed. "Almost, Ipi, we have arrived." Then he pointed at the hill of loose boulders over our camp. "Tell, what do you see?" I looked hard, because they were still far away, but now I could see why he was asking. "The square red markers! I see them now." "Yes, that marks our camp, and shelter for anyone stranded in a storm." This made me very proud, now that I understood. But I still wondered of the painted rock, so asked him. "Why were there little dots in a row at painted rock?" I asked. "Why do you think? Think of what your mother will do up at the canyon when we arrive…" "Of course! She will plant squash." "And how does she plant them?" "In a row where the water comes." I thought about it. "So those dots are squash fields?" "Now you can read more. Do you remember the rattle snake pattern on the rock?" "Yes, it is next to the lizard ladder up the canyon." "That is right. There were three lines, one broken. Do you understand why?" "No, I do not." "Think what happens when it is wet and when it is dry…" "Ah, I see. Water flows sometimes, but not other times?" "Sometimes the water is there, but you cannot see it because you have to dig for it." I understood then. But he asked me another question. "Do your remember the shelter picture on the far left? Why do you think it is there?" "Because there are shelters up the canyon?" "No, not right. You see, if you were standing on top of the hill and looking down, and there was a shelter sweat lodge to your left, where would you draw it on painted rock?" "On the left… Oh, now I understand." He smiled at me approvingly. "You are a smart boy." And now we were here. Everyone made it for their former campsites in the rocks. Stones had been placed to make for easy climbing in between the boulders, and we children were first to reach the caves up the canyon. They were dirty inside, coyotes and hares had used them while we were away, so cleaning them was first thing to do. Spiders also had to be cleaned out, and watch out for snakes that took shelter here from the sun. I found our cave very quickly, and brushed out dust from inside the rock niche where I kept my knife, and arrowheads, next to the fire. With my hands I dug down in the soft sand to uncover the tops of clay pots hidden there. They were unbroken, and when I raised them up, their colors of red and black looked perfect in the faint light. This made me happy to see them, since now we can collect water. I immediately took one to the cave with the big crack across, where water always trickled all the time, and placed it below to catch the drops. Father and mother will be happy for this. While it was dripping, I climbed up to the red marker Tapawaye pointed out, and it was as he said. The stone cover taken off to show the red rock beneath was still there. It could be replaced quickly if we wanted to hide it. I thought about that, but only shamans are allowed to do this, in times of danger. Then I took the filled pot back to our cave. "Ipi, your brought us water, thank you." My mother was pleased. My sisters were busy cleaning the cave of dust, but they made more dust by sweeping it. I helped move some soil out, so it will be taller, even tall enough for my uncle to stand. My sleeping corner was next to be cleaned, which I did. There I placed my bedroll. It had begun to rain again, a light rain, but our cave was dry. Sometimes after a big rain some water would come in, but it dried quickly. When dark fell, everyone was assembled at the great kiva cave, the one with the large flat stone in the center. Tapawaye had made a fire, and was smoking a long pipe with tobacco inside. He then addressed everyone present, the whole clan, even smallest children. "Welcome my people. We have arrived one more time to our ancestral home in the desert. None remember now, but very long ago this was a green land, and we lived here in harmony with all living things, the buffalo, the lions, the desert hare and coyote, the snakes and birds, all were brothers and sisters then." He took another breath in his pipe. "We must always remember the legends of our creation handed down over the ages, when all the people were one family who came from the north, and lived as brothers and sisters through the land. We are one people again." Then he passed the pipe to all the men who drew from it smoke, and passed it to the next man. Then Tapawaye told this tale of the great spirit Uuyot from the north. ""Then with a voice full of tremulous sadness and loving yearning for his people Uuyot said: 'My children, my own sons and daughters, something is wanted of us by Those Above. What it is I know not. Let us gather together and bring "pivat," and with it make the big smoke and then dance and dance until we are told what is wanted." So the people brought pivat--a native tobacco that grows in Southern lands--and Uuyot brought the big ceremonial pipe which he had made out of rock, and he soon made the big smoke and blew the smoke up into the heavens while he urged the people to dance. They danced hour after hour until they grew tired, and Uuyot smoked all the time, but still he urged them to dance. "Then he called out again to Those Above, 'Wit-i-a-ko!' but still could obtain no response. This made him sad and disconsolate, and when the people saw Uuyot despondent and downhearted they became panic-stricken, and ceased to dance, and began to cling around him for comfort and protection. But poor Uuyot had none to give. He himself was saddest and most forsaken. of all, and he got up and bade the people leave him alone, as he wished to walk to and fro by himself. Then he made the people smoke and dance, and when they rested they knelt in a circle and prayed. But he walked away by himself, feeling keenly the refusal of Those Above to speak to him. His heart was deeply wounded. "But as the people prayed and danced and sang, a gentle light came stealing into the sky from the far, far east. Little by little the darkness was driven away. First the light was gray, then yellow, then white, and at last the glistening brilliancy of the sun filled all the land and covered the sky with glory. The sun had arisen for the first time, and in its light and warmth my people knew they had the favor of Those Above, and they were contented. "But when Siwash, the God of Earth looked round, and saw every thing revealed by the sun, he was discontented, for the earth was bare and level and monotonous, and there was nothing to cheer the sight. So he took some of the people and of them he made high mountains, and of some, smaller mountains. Of some he made rivers and creeks, and lakes and waterfalls, and of others, coyotes, foxes, deer, antelopes, bears, squirrels, porcupines, and all the other animals. Then he made out of the other people all the different kinds of snakes and reptiles and insects and birds and fishes. Then he wanted trees and plants and flowers and he turned some of the people into these things. Of every man or woman that he seized he made something according to its value." When Tapawaye finished, he put down his pipe. We sat in silence by the firelight, while he meditated deeply. Then his voice began a soft chant, and it grew louder until everyone had to chant with him. We all did, and it felt very good, like the beginning of the world again, we were all one people together. And it all felt good to hear the stories again. Then when we finished singing, Tapawaye got up and stepped outside, looking up at the sky. He raised his arms to the sky and began a long mournful chant that made us all sitting inside very silent. He was calling to the spirits to protect our camp from harm. We were now safe here. 4. Soldiers on Horses. Dakui and I, and other boys, would go hunting together. Sometimes it was more play, especially when little children came with us, but only boys. Little girls had to stay at the camp. But we would climb up the rocks all the way to the top and then watch for game. We became very silent then, just watching and listening. Most of the time we would come back with at least a lizard or two, maybe a bird, but most times with nothing but stories. Sometimes we brought a snake, which we killed with rocks. We all shared in this meat, when possible. I had found my wooden bow and it was still strong, so I put a sinew string on it. My arrows had new points, which Tukupai helped me make, and these were now strong arrows, points well tied to the ends. We even attached cut crow feathers glued on the ends, so they would fly straight. I became very good with them, and could hit a desert hare at ten paces times two with ease. So could Dakui, but we never hit a fox, because they are too fast and smart for us. My sisters were getting ready for a very special ceremony, for Nicu, who was younger than me but already showed signs of becoming a woman. Tipa was already of age, now a woman, but Nicu was still a girl. Now that she had begun showing breasts, which she covered from the burning sun, it was her time to become a woman. Life had settled with ease at the camp, everyone had their tasks to perform, and we lived happy. Tapawaye held ceremonies to which we danced and sang in the kiva, or sometimes outside by the fire. Rain was plentiful, and mother’s squash fields, along with those belonging to other families, were growing well. We had good game, and Pawa and other men always came back with fresh meat. The skins were used for capes when it was cold, especially at night, or when the rains were windy and cold. Like most men, because I was older now, I covered my front with a skin flap, which was tied around my hips and down my rear, so to protect what some men called their manhood. Women covered the same area with grass matted skirts, though if not hot they showed their breasts and rears. But the front must be covered, or it is impolite to others. I cannot explain why this is impolite, but it is our way. Now it was time for Nicu to join the women in the same dress, because being naked for a woman is impolite. The preparations for Nicu’s initiation into womanhood was made well in advance of her special day. Some of the older women had noticed how she flirted with older boys, so they were eager to get her initiated quickly. This is how babies are made, when girls flirt with boys, but it is better for her to be a woman, so then she can have a man in a proper way. Tipa and Pawa had already spoken of this, that they will be husband and wife, but Nicu is still too young. Whether or not too young to marry, she is not too young to be called a woman. So they prepared the pit for her. First it was dug shallow pit and then filled with heated stones. That evening, everyone was invited to attend, and to see a girl turned into a woman. Nicu was very excited by this ceremony which made her the center of attention. She was dressed in beautiful feathers, a long grass skirt as women wear, and drawings with paint were made all over her body. These were special symbols to bring her health and many children, and to make her happy in her life. Nicu looked beautiful, so young and colorful. Then while she was being readied, Tapawaye made a large circle in the sand, and with colored sands drew another figure, that of a woman, with her legs apart. Then he placed a fine line of sand from her private part between the legs to touch the outer circle. As he did this, we all watching him, especially young girls, he explained that all of life is like a circle, and that the life from inside a woman connects to all of that life circle. While he did this, he quietly chanted sacred songs to himself. The women were busy putting warm rocks inside the long pit, then covered it with sand so the stones will warm it inside. After a time, when the hot stones had heated the pit, they dug out the sands and stones, which were still warm. Now it was Nicu’s turn to participate in the ceremony. As the sun set at the same time the moon rose, and fires were lit, all the women began a chant. The men held rattles with which to keep the chant on time, very softly, and Nicu was brought forward. She was stripped of her beautiful coverings, and when naked, except for her front cover, was laid down into the shallow pit, which was still warm. Then the women, my mother first, carefully pushed sand all over her body until only her face was showing. The Tapawaye began a long chant to heat her body with the earth, so they became as one, the Earth Mother was now Nicu’s mother too, and together they will bring life into the world. This lasted a long time, with everyone singing, until I could tell Nicu was getting too warm. Again my mother was first woman to remove the warm sand, and when Nicu was free of the earth, she was dressed again and taken to a cave where she would stay for three days. Once she emerges from this cave, she is now a woman. While Nicu was in her seclusion, a cloth was brought forward and on it was her blood. This gave the clan a great joy, and everyone yelled "Aayyeeee!" in celebration, which meant more food and drink to celebrate it. The Earth Mother had accepted our Nicu as one of her own now, which gave all of us much joy. When Nicu emerged from her cave three days later, it was again time for a feast, and more dancing. She was at the center of the dance. Tapawaye had mixed a drink from herbs and fermented fruit which was a stimulate to the senses, and he gave some to Nicu, who giggled when she drank it. We all tasted a small amount, because it had to go around to ten times two so everyone had some. Some fell down giggling immediately, others fell down later, but we all giggled like little children together, which was very funny. But in a dream I had the night before, something was not funny. And now this was about to become true. Children up on the rocks came rushing down that they saw strange men on horses riding this way. This immediately set up an alarm for everyone present, especially the men who gathered to consult on it. We all met in the large kiva. "These are Spaniards coming," Tapawaye said with a grave voice. We must be very careful, because they kill to take what they want. The men went to get their spears and bows, and I did too. Under the hot sun we saw the men coming around from the canyon where no one ever goes. Down there is nothing of importance, no good game to hunt, except for the shiny yellow metal sometimes found in the soil after a heavy rain. We used these stones to trade all the far away with the Spanish Mission near the sea, because they value such things. Often in return we get corn grains, which we make into flat breads. But there was no trading mission here for a long time, and these men were a surprise. As they came around to our camp, Tapawaye was there to greet them. "Vaya con dios" he said to them. When Tapawaye was a boy he had lived at the Mission, so he knew their language. The men answered something, and then they dismounted from their horses. These were large men, three of them, with beards, something we do not have in our people. They also had heavy costumes made of metal, which looked odd to me. How could they carry so much weight? By their sides they had long dark metal tubes with fine wooden handles, and long knives made of shiny metal, like their costumes. I was fascinated to see them, but I could tell from Tapawaye’s voice that he was cautious. They spoke while we men and women, and children, all waited together. Then the men stepped towards us and without asking took two of our young women and pushed them aside. Tapawaye protested, saying these were our unmarried women, but they seemed not to listen to him. Now they spoke our language, so all could understand. Instead they stripped the women of their skirts so they all stood naked before us. We were all shocked by such impolite behavior, but said nothing. Our shaman talked with them some more, saying such behavior was not right for men of a kind "jesus of god". But they only laughed, saying the men had traveled a long way and needed food and drink, and women. Tapawaye told them something, and then explained we could share what little food we had, and water, and that we had some dried meat, to no avail. They only really wanted the women. Then our men grabbed their spears and bows. Pawa and Tukupai was among them. This led to a suddenly evil turn of events, when one of the men grabbed one more woman, this time my sister Nicu. I saw red with fury, because she just became a woman and could not be treated with such humiliation. I too went for my bow, and then put an arrow into the string. When the men saw this, they raised their long metal tubes at me. My fingers were trembling, but my sister was not to go with them. Then the man who grabbed Nicu took off his helmet, and to my shock his hair was the color of sunlight. How could a man with such beautiful hair do something so evil? It put tears in my eyes, I was so disturbed. Tapawaye raised his hand to stop me, but I was firm. I wanted to kill him like a desert goat, he angered me so. I have good aim, and my arrow was pointed right at his eyes, then through my tears I lowered it down to his neck. He would die for this terrible insult to my sister who stood naked before him. By now all the other men also raised their bows, with aim to kill. The men with golden hair raise his long tube right at me, so we both stared at each other a long moment, before the loud noise and flash sent something buzzing past my head. The other men loosed their arrows, but they only struck one man in the arm, some arrows bounced off their metal costumes. The naked women fell to the ground, from fear, and so did everyone behind us. But I stood my ground and fixed another arrow to fire, just when another horse came by. He was a man, a young man, dressed in dark clothing, and he shouted to stop what we were doing. When he approached us, still mounted, Tapawaye fell to one knee. I understood this man was important. So I too lowered my bow. Everyone put down their weapons, even the Spanish men. Our naked women quickly got up and returned to their families, some crying for fear. This man began talking in both Spanish and our language to Tapawaye, at first quietly, but then both raised their voices. Tapawaye said no women are to leave our camp, they are family to us. But then the man, whom I heard called Fray Luis, an important man of the Mission, said that two of our men must come with them, because they must be punished for firing arrows. Tapawaye protested the Spanish soldier fired his weapon first, but Luis would not understand, so he pointed to me and one other man, Pawa. I stood frozen. Then my uncle said no, he would go in my place to the Mission. I jumped down to where they were gathered and said I will go, because they live near the sea, and I must see this. This brought a smile to the face of the man Luis, but he agreed with Tapawaye that I was too young to work for the Mission, and that two strong men were needed there. The women were forgotten now, but two men important to me, and to my mother and Tipa, would not be prisoners of the Spanish. I could not live with this, but that was the decision made, to my deep sorrow. How could we avenge it, I wondered? Two strong hunters taken away was wrong. I cried that night in the cave, but my sisters and mother were safe. Tapawaye gave council, but I did not go. My insides still hurt from the shame brought on our women, and men too. I could not believe anything good of their "jesus of god" could ever come our way, except death and shame. It took a long time fore me to find the strength to speak with our shaman again, but I did. When we talked, he explained the power of the Spanish weapons, and that I was lucky to be alive. He said there will soon come a time when I must go with him to the sea. And then we spoke no more of it. We missed my uncle, especially my mother missed him. And Tipa was always sad, because Pawa was taken away. But the rains were good, and there was plenty of game. 5. I become a Man. The days grew short and the cold had set in. On some mornings the water in the jars froze if left outside, which created an ice pattern. Tapawaye showed me how to draw ice, which was a cross pattern with a line above it. That means many days of cold to freeze water. I was the main hunter now, me some older men, and we went out on hunting parties in the canyons and valleys where desert goats were found. We would lay in ambush, sometimes leaving a little water in a large hollowed rock until they came to drink, then shoot them with arrows. When I needed more straight shafts for my arrows, I would hop on the horse and we rode down to the valley with trees, so I could cut straight branches, which I brought back many to share with other hunters. I always had a couple for Dakui as well, since he was afraid to ride with me. At times, when everyone was asleep, I would sit on top of a large boulder above the camp and look at the sky. It was black with ten times many-many stars in it, which filled the whole sky. Sometimes a star would fall. I wondered what they were, or why they were there. The did not give enough light, but when the moon rose over the mountains, I could see in the night almost as well as day. I had hunted at night too, by myself, untroubled by lions or coyotes. I was now master of the night as well as day. Matiye was heavy with child, and I heard the elder women say she would bear a baby anyday now. Tipa was also with child, but hers was not due for a long time, when we return to the mountains. The shortest day had passed, and on it a great feast was held with a large fire. Tapawaye sang the most beautiful songs, but my heart was heavy. I missed our clan’s men hunters, Pawa and Tukupai, who were like brother and father to me, and I could not stop feeling the pain of humiliation that they were taken from us. But I could not help them, and this made me ever more determined that I must. One day, when the sun was rising warmer again and we were already talking of the mountains, Tapawaye came to talk to me. I was sitting alone on a large rock overlooking the valley, where the Spanish soldiers took our men, in that directions towards the setting sun. "Death is in that direction," Tapawaye said then. "I know, and life rises the other direction, to the rising sun. Soon my mother will bring life again." "Like your were born here, so will her baby, a child of the desert." I looked into his eyes and I saw the wisdom again. I had stopped being angry. But I did not speak, so he spoke again. "There is hope that you will be a strong man, and wise. Perhaps one day you will take my place, because you have shown much intelligence and skill." "I want to be a hunter." "You can always be a hunter, but only a few have the dream to be shaman." We sat quiet for a long time, neither of us talking. Then I spoke. "I have to be a man first." "Yes. It is time for you to be a man. If you are ready, so am I." That was the beginning, and my training began in earnest. Every night I learned new songs. The necessary rituals came easy to me, and the stories of creation and the great spirits were told, and retold by me until I remembered them. When I was ready, my mother gave birth. It was a baby boy, so now I have a brother again. My older brother is back as my youngest. It made me very glad, and she was happy the boy was healthy. But my father was away, a prisoner of the Mission, so I had to become a man. The day was announced, and my ritual day was coming soon. But first I had to be prepared. This was a private time, so everything I reveal here is private, but without shame. Tapawaye asked me if I like girls. I said I like them as much or little as any person, nothing really catching about them. This made him think about it for a day. The next day he said he had asked the great spirit and the answer came to him in a dream. He said some boys are ready in the body sooner, but their minds are not. But with me it is the opposite, that I have a strong mind, and courage, but the body is slow. So there was an ancient remedy he would use to speed up the body. It is called the choke string, and he explained to me. "I will show you how to tie a small piece of sinew, very thin and well cleaned around your private part." He drew a picture in the sand for me to explain it and show where I must tie this string of sinew. Then he gave it to me, so I could do it in private. He said the kiva is a good place, since it now was empty. I did as he described, and tied the string around the head, just at the neck when the skin is pulled back. It hurt to do this, but in a short time the pain was gone. But something new happened, and it became hard, and painful. So I found Tapawaye and asked him about it, since my ceremony was only days away. "That is how it should be, Ipi," that the string stirs you. In a day or so, you will see girls differently, with desire, more than childhood friends." I waited, and dreamt of girls, or women, even full breasted women, and it began to stir in me. I liked them like I never like anyone before. It was a powerful feeling I would have, sometimes all night, thinking of girls, how they walked, how they smiled, how they moved their hips. They were wonderful to me, beauty to behold, to love in ways I never imagined. Now I wanted a woman, which was most strange. I could understand why Tipa and Pawa liked spending time together, or why mother and father slept together. It all made sense now. So I found Tapawaye, and told him. "I understand being a man!" when we met again. "Yes, now you know." He smiled a very broad smile at me. "Then you may take that string off, because you do not need it. You already are a man." There is more, and the ceremony to my manhood, attended by Tapawaye and grown men, but not boys or little girls, only women of age, to see me change into manhood. I was shown the ways of how to treat a woman, what she needs for her happiness, as well as mine. But with each new initiation, and this lasted days, when I was painted with animal spirits, or sent off into the night with only a knife, each day made me stronger, and braver. I understood more of manhood. I thought I was like a man when I hunted, but that was only a part. The real manhood was to care and be aware of the other person, completely, so they never felt rejected as your special human being to be with. This was the most important thing to learn. And now I wanted a woman. But she would have to wait. As Tapawaye explained, if I am to be shaman, I must take a woman from a very distant clan, maybe as far as the sea. "Then can we go there?" "Are you ready? Maybe you should grow a little taller," he teased me. I understood. But the burning passion in me was not just for a woman, but also to avenge my father and brother. The Spanish were unjust with us. I was no longer thinking like a boy, but as a man now. I had to find a way to right the wrong. Mother was happy with Paiye, my new brother. Tipa was awaiting her child, and her belly was getting bigger. I found this very attractive, she smiled more and her cheeks were full and flush. My sister’s womanhood was coming out in full. We talked of Pawa, and I confided that I had a plan to bring him back to us, though I told no one else. It was our secret. When I spoke to Tapawaye, I was vague, but asked him about our trip back to the mountains, now that the rains were failing. "When is it time to return to the mountains?" I asked him casually. "I watch the clouds, the sun, the stars, and soon they will tell me. Water is becoming more scarce, and we even had to travel all the way down to the stream with mules already, to carry water back. So it will be soon." "What do you plan to do when we are back at our mountain camp?" "I have no special plans." Then he looked at me, because he understood I had something in mind. "What are your plans?" "How many shiny yellow stones do the Spanish need to free a man from servitude at the Mission?" "Oh yes, I understand." He thought about it. "I think we need to bring many such stones, for both Pawa and Tukupai to be free." "We know where those stones are." "Yes, we can get some, before it is too late, and the desert dries out." "Then tomorrow, I will take Dakui and some others for the stones." "That is a wise plan. But do not trust the Spanish. They may take the stones and not give back our men." "I have a plan for that too, because I have seen they should not be trusted." The next day at dawn, we set out. There were four of us men, and boys, to seek the shiny stones. We traveled far up the dry arroyo until we came to the base of a large mountain, and then we set our eyes to the ground to search. In a short time, I found on stone, and then others reported also they found some. They were small, the size of pinon nut, but before dark we had ten of them. "But what do you want with these stones?" Dakui asked. "I cannot say yet, but tell no one we have them. This is very important." We rushed back to the camp to show to Tapawaye. "That is enough only for one man," he advised us. "You must go back for more, but tomorrow, or the next day, we must leave here, because the rains have stopped." "Send the women to the creek, and with mules to bring back water," I advised. "We will search again tomorrow." This time we only found five shiny stones, all too small for even a pinon nut. This distressed us, because we had spent a whole day looking. When we returned, Tapawaye said he will wait another day. So we set off again a third time. But now I found a very large shiny stone, bigger than my thumbnail, and I called to the others to stop. They had found another two small ones. "I think we have enough," I counseled. This time, Tapawaye said we have enough for two men, but we must keep it secret we have these, or the Soldiers will come to take them away. Thus he counseled the whole clan, to make sure they understood, because the boys already talked, and all knew of our finding the stones, though no one knew why we wanted them. I told the boys I wanted the stones for a good luck charm. "You see, the moon is my spirit god, and these are like the moon." This explanation they understood, and asked no further, because it may be bad luck to question the future shaman. The plan was set in motion, and Tapawaye hid the stones in a special satchel packed on one of the mules. We had begun our trek back, and it was painful to rise up the mountains, looking back at my desert below. But the days had grown very hot, and without water, it became difficult. On my suggestion, we had replaced the cap stones over the red markers at the camp, so no one will be looking there. Tapawaye thought it a good idea, incase the Spanish came back with Kumeyaay guides, even if not of our clan. They would know. I had again reburied my arrowheads and spear points, but I took the bow. We lived in more dangerous times now. 6. The Mission Parlay. I started dreaming of the sea. I did not know what it meant, but I could smell it, same as I could smell a woman. It was a pleasing smell, and that made me think of finding a wife someday. When we got to our camp in the mountains, everything was as before. The mules and horse were released to find their natural pastures, and they seemed very happy, jumping once their loads were gone. My sisters took turns caring for Paiye, fawning over him, while mother could sleep, because the trip tired her. In a few days, Tapawaye and I made preparations for our trek to the sea. We decided to leave the horse and mules here, because they needed to rebuilt their strength. It took nearly four days to return, because the climb was hard. We stopped at the oasis again, where lion tracks were clearly visible, but neither Dakui nor I talked about it. When we reached the mountains, a steady rain fell, and that felt good again. When all was arranged, Tapawaye and I set off for the sea. It took us five days travel, at times we met people, but mostly it was empty trails over the mountains until we got to one hill where far in the distance, I could see it. And it did smell like in the dream. It smelled green, not forest green, but a salty smell, which I liked instantly. There was no end to it, it went on until the edge of the Earth. I knew what it was even before I got there. We reached the shore, and then connected with a trail traveling south towards the Mission. When I stepped into the sea, I was amazed how cold it was, and the waves which I had only seen on a small lake when the wind was up, were furious like a big storm. The sea tasted vile, but I love the smell of the water. We traveled another day, and the Mission, all white and large, came into view. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Tapawaye said not to be impressed, because it is also an evil place. I felt a darkness from those white walls. We camped by the sea and waited for morning before coming closer. The weather was hot, and when we got closer to the Mission, we could see large planting fields with corn and crops in them, which when we got closer showed they were still young. In the fields were men working, and women, bent over to tend the small shoots in the ground. Some were carrying baskets, others holding sticks with which they pulled at the ground. There were also soldiers on horses patrolling the fields, so these people were not free to go or come, but had to work as they were told. All this was explained to me before, because Tapawaye had also worked these fields. Before we got to the great gate, we stopped. "Remember, Ipi, we must not let them know we have the shiny stones. So we must hide them. I had seen in a dream a tree, and this large one here is like the one I saw. There should be a hole in it, very deep." We walked over to the tree, looking to see if anyone else was near. We were alone, except for the workers in the far fields, and the soldiers with them. So we looked on the tree for an opening. One was exactly as Tapawaye saw, so this was where the spirit guided us to place the stones. As we leaned against the tree, like we were resting, we quietly hid the stones. "Could we not trust some of our cousins?" I asked. "No. They are corrupted and would steal the gold, as they call these stones." When this was done, we approached the great gate of the Mission. Though I learned a few words and phrases on the trek here, I let Tapawaye talk to the guards. He explained we are a mission from the Kumeyaay to parlay with Fray Luis. At first they said to go away, but he persisted we had something of value to him. They made us wait in a small dark room, but then we were called. "What business do you have with our abbot?" the young priest asked of us. "We represent the Kumeyaay east of the mountains," he answered them, from what I could understand. This took more time, but finally by the midday we were allowed to enter the large hall with thick timbers holding up the roof over us. This room had large metal candle holders, thick wooden furniture to sit at, with large drawings of Spanish men on the walls, in full costume, including swords. It was very impressive, like nothing I had ever seen before. It took all my concentration to be focussed on what our purpose was here. We did not come to admire their grand place, to be set men free. Then the young priest returned. "If they offer us a dark red liquid, do not accept it," counseled Tapawaye. "They call it vino, and it is poison, though they drink it all the time." I understood. "Please follow me, Fray Luis will see you now. There had been trouble with Indians of late, maybe a rebellion, so we hope you bring good news." This was a surprise, that our timing was such that they were afraid of us, but this could work to our advantage. Tapawaye’s eyes met mine. We were ushered in. Fray Luis was dressed in fine colors now, not the dark robe he wore when we saw him last in the desert. He also looked older and worried. But there was still that air of command about him. We were brought forward to a large table with many pieces of paper on them. He spoke first, as we bowed to him. "What urgent business do you have for me?" he inquired. Tapawaye answered, very humbly. "Your excellency, we desire to have only friendship between us, but our clan begs of you to forgive the men who wronged you the desert. We are here to plea for their release." "Ha! Why should I release them? One man is near death, the other rebellious, they had been trouble from the start. I should lock you both up on their behalf, to teach you Indian a lesson." "We beg your excellency to hear our proposal. We do not come empty handed, but have gold to buy them back to us." "How much gold?" "Enough nuggets, your excellency, to buy a dozen horses." "Ah, I see, and you want these men in exchange?" He put his chin in his hand, as if thinking, stroking his beard. "But why not just take your gold? Do you have it with you?" "No, your excellency, it is well protected with cousins here." "Ah? Well, I can have you arrested, and then you would talk as heathens talk when forced to." "Please, your excellency, we come in peace. Our Kumeyaay cousins had not been happy, we were told, and our capture would make them more unhappy." There was a sudden fear in Fray Luis’s eyes, something I did not expect. But later we learned there had been talk of rebellion, and even violent rebellion against the Mission, to free all the Indian slaves here. Death was in the air. "Where do you want the exchange to take place? It can be here." "No, dear excellency, we are a superstitious people. We must at times do what our superstitious beliefs tell us to do. We can exchange them by the big tree outside our gates. If it would please you." "One more or two Indian or less will not make a difference, if it should help kept the peace. I accept your offer." He looked sharply at us, like we had defeated him, but we could not trust him any further than that. If there was rebellion brewing, then our timing was right to come now, because he was afraid. "Thank you most gracious excellency," Tapawaye was really bowing now. "We will meet at the large tree to exchange gold for prisoners. What time?" "Bring your gold tomorrow at dawn, before they are called for work, and I will have them there…. No wait. I have a better idea. Bring me twelve horses." "But your honor, where do we get twelve horses?" "I give you two days to round them up, trade your gold if you will, but be here the day before the sabbath, at dawn with your horses." We were dismissed then. So close to their release, but the treacherous Fray Luis once again showed his true nature. It was devious. And cruel. There was nothing we could do. It would have been too easy for him to honor an agreement, and then us go on our way back to the clan with our dear brothers. No, Fray Luis had to make it difficult. But this has a way of turning things worse than before. We set out to find the Kumeyaay community living outside the compound, which was easy. There we talked with village elders, and discovered their deep unhappiness with Fray Luis. They said they remembered Father Junipero, and how kind he was. But this man was evil, and after the great death, he became more evil. He blamed us and our sins for all that had befallen our brothers and sisters. Our Kumeyaay cousins were very angry, so they said they would give us the horses we needed, in exchange for some gold, but not all of it. This was the great spirit of the gods working with us, and for this we were truly thankful. The next day we exchanged the small nuggets for all twelve horses, and kept the largest nugget. This was a happy bargain, and on the day appointed we came. But to our surprise, many of the village Kumeyaay cousins came too. They all stood near us, to be witness to the exchange of horses for prisoners. For this we were very grateful, because Fray Luis was not an honorable man. As we waited by the tree, as appointed, more villagers came, now even girls and women. I looked at them with joy, because they came to support us now. As we talked, they learned of where we came, who Tapawaye and I were, that I was already a man training to be a shaman, which gave much respect for us. And then, one more young woman came, about my age, more beautiful than all the others together. I saw her, and my eyes could not turn away. And her too, she looked directly at me for a long time. I knew I had found my dream. Then Luis came out with his soldiers leading Pawa and Tukupai. Our dear brothers looked so sad, weak and thin, barely able to stand. We approached them with the horses. "You came as promised, I am pleased and surprised," was Luis haughty greeting. Tapawaye spoke with him, and then Luis answered. "Why, for these two wretched men I would have taken four horses. But since you bring twelve, I will take them all." The people behind us were talking in whispers, but I could tell they were not happy. "Thank you kindly, your grace, for giving us back our brothers." And that finished it. The men were marched forward to us, and the horses taken into the Mission. All around us were cries of joy, because we had done something few could do, to set men free. I again looked for the young woman, and she was looking straight at me. My heart beat quickly, and I was glad. 7. I had seen the sea. "I came to the sea," I was telling the villagers that night as we talked late,"to see it for myself. But I have found so much more than I expected. Here I also found beauty." I then explained what I meant, and asked for the girl’s name. Her name was Tamaia, a most lovely name. So I asked how can I meet her. She was brought to me by her father, Mutta. "How much will you give for her?" Mutta asked me. "How much do you want for her?" I asked in return. "Give me gold, as much as a fist can hold." "I do not have so much gold. But will you take this small token until I do?" I showed him my hidden treasure, the large nugget, and his eyes lit up. Then I continued, to keep him guessing. "However, I cannot leave this with you, a small token, until I have spoken with Tamaia." He agreed. So she was brought over to me. While Tapawaye talked with the other villagers, and he gave me a wink when he saw her, I took Tamaia aside into one of the huts of the village. We talked, alone. I cannot say of what we talked, because this was private between us. But I do know she had been to the desert once, and she loved it there. And she knows that I know where to find gold, and that I will be an important man when shaman. And I know that I like her very much, which reminded me of the string, which was also a little embarrassing, because she saw it too. She laughed. And I know her smile wins me over completely. Then we did something I had never done before, but I know she liked it too. We kissed. When we returned to the others, that kiss was burned into my lips, and I could think of nothing at all, like a fool struck dumb. She led me by the hand to her father. "I accept, father, to take this man for husband." "No so quick, daughter, he only promised me a token. But if it is your wish, I know mother would have been happy for you too." So she lost someone she loved to the great death. We must live, to have many children, and find much love in each other. It was sealed, with the people of the village as witness for Tamaia, and Tapawaye as witness for me. I gave Mutta my gold piece. We did not wait another day, but had to flee from this Mission, and Tukupai and Pawa needed the fresh air of the mountains, and the arms of their loved ones, to regain their strength again. So next morning, before first light, we set off. But as we were leaving, Mutta came over to us. "Hurry back, because there will be war, and I want my daughter away from here. These are bad times." We were shocked at his open words, but we understood. And then he said something unexpected. "I want you back here before winter, so take these horses with you. I can only get two, they are mine, but your gold will buy more. So take them to hurry back, and then hurry back again to take your bride back to safety. I once lived where you live now, and I miss it terribly." I did not see Tamaia then, but I knew she was there. I had to hurry, and find gold even in the hottest time, because I could not lose her now. The desert is mine, I know where the water is. Next year, she would be my wife. We did not waste time, but hurried back as fast as our horses would take us. Two days into the journey, and already Tukupai and Pawa were gaining strength. They rode most of the time, while at times Tapawaye and I walked, especially on the more difficult trails. We were back in three days. And everyone at the camp turned out to greet us. They were so happy. Matiye threw herself into Tukupai’s arms, and then showed him his son. Tipa covered Pawa with kisses. They had such stories to tell. But none were as happy as I. Tapawaye winked at me. I had seen the sea. THE END Ps: to learn more of the Kumeyaay Indian tribes of Anza-Borrego, and some of their rock art, please visit: Pictographs at Anza Borrego desert, California - deciphered? and Kumeyaay Indians of Anza-Borrego Desert, California. [To learn more of the research on this story, or to contact the author, Ivan Alexander, write to: humancafe@aol.com ] |